#im-already-in-a-relationship (Discord ID: 436337800405581824) in MacGuyver - Skills & Academics, page 2


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2018-05-02 12:04:36 UTC

I hope my input helps some of you a lil bit.😉🤞

2018-05-02 12:33:50 UTC

Oh and as far as political, i really didn't start getting into being red pilled,getting into it unil these past few years honestly. At time i was more focused on my marriage,my kids,our life in general. Sure i would look at some things that mattered to me as i had younger kids but i honestly didn't follow it that closely,i was more focused on traditional, normal family stuff. I only got into more so after my daughter left for college & i found myself gojng,what now? That 1st year she was gone was the hardest. But as i also say,I'm at a new 2nd phase in my life & Im re growing again,learning what i really like and don't like,what i won't tolerate or keep quiet about. As i got older,there are somethings ya just don't put up with anymore & you learn to do tjings your own original new way. As i have been finding myself again,rediscovering things again these past few years too.

2018-05-02 12:35:16 UTC

Please excuse typos,my fingernails hit bad keys sometimes

2018-05-02 12:56:23 UTC

I just want to chip in.... things don't always get better after marriage, or committing to a long term relationship. Sometimes things are just hidden better. My husband and I went through a tough time, and still are, 17 years later. We have been together for 22 years. I do have a question to think about. Does your gf talk about wanting children. Twenty six is getting up there. Most young ladies know they want children, and the children are what change men and women. .... but not always. I have never done drugs but went through a tough time, including foster care because of someone murdering my Grandmother. I want to suggest not making excuses for your future spouse. Certain things are a concern now, they will most likely be after marriage. Raising children is VERY stressful and rewarding. I know many women who were alcoholics and were addicted to opioid throughout their children's early years, and 1 who lost custody of her son because she was an alcoholic. I hope this helps give some thinking points. Good luck to all looking for their life long loves💛

2018-05-02 12:58:37 UTC

Good points at what you say,makes alot of sense@PTyler-WA

2018-05-02 13:21:45 UTC

I also had a somewhat rough childhood do to neglect,so that helped me realize obviously what i didn't want for my child. It can be stressful & beyond rewarding raising kids. If you want kids,ask yourself does she too or does she really, is she serious about it,because if she is,she will stop & get prepared ahead of time because she wants the best for that child,at least most think that way. Mid 20's is always good,or early 30's & is pushing it for some. I know my stepdaughter started thinking about it earlier though & always wanted kids & a family. But she also saw that her mom staying in a relationship for the sake of her half brother wasn't healthy either. As her mom's 3rd marriage wasn't great as she chose partner that was a serious alcoholic, etc. Staying together isn't always easy either so you have to be honest and ask yourselves if its its something you both really want & work towards or not. And hopefully way before any kids come in the picture. But i know sometimes that always doesn't work either so you try to do right and whats best for that child,regardless if you stay together as a couple or separate,you are in that child's life for good.

2018-05-02 14:45:55 UTC

Interesting stories. To all of the ladies (and men) reading this, you all will get sick of me saying this, if you want better choice in men (women) you must embrace self improvement. As the saying goes, “if there’s a will, there’s a way”

2018-05-02 14:47:18 UTC

There are a lot of resources and people who talk about self improvement for men but I really have never heard of self improvement for women which is a shame as everyone can improve themselves.

2018-05-02 14:52:21 UTC

@Zyzz Agreed. Ultimately, the best way for women to become better women is to have better men in their lives.

2018-05-02 20:04:36 UTC

I will say one thing about smoking grass. It gets in the way with you connecting emotionally with loved ones. It’s an inward habit that takes you away from others. Be present and clear headed in life. Your spouse and children will be better served.

2018-05-02 21:33:10 UTC

@Zyzz agreed

2018-05-02 22:21:34 UTC

@Deleted Useragree,well said!

2018-05-03 01:44:56 UTC

It might not be a bad to listen to a Stefan Molyneux video in which he has a conversation with a young man in a situation similar to yours.

2018-06-22 01:40:50 UTC

@Tanner - SC It sounds like you're always going on dates

2018-06-22 02:06:57 UTC

I’m a man on a mission.

2018-07-16 04:56:39 UTC

I could use some advice for a sort of new relationship I’m in.

2018-07-16 05:00:52 UTC

I’ve known her for years, she wants to get married, and we’ve been together as far as seeing each other often is concerned (waiting until marriage for sex or moving in together). However she is getting upset over little things and I don’t know how to respond. It is semi long distance but only a few hours drive.

2018-07-16 13:14:00 UTC

Could you give an example or two?

2018-07-17 06:03:40 UTC

@Francis V do you Skype often? It was very helpful years ago for my wife and I when we were far from each other

2018-07-17 06:25:20 UTC

I sorted it out she just wanted more attention, busy schedules and I wasn’t messaging her enough for her liking. We use FaceTime and other such chatting services.

2018-07-17 06:31:56 UTC

lol I usually have a problem with messaging people *too* much

2018-07-17 06:33:48 UTC

As much as pick up artists are degenerate

2018-07-17 06:34:20 UTC

They have a point with keeping replies reasonably brief, the two to one rule

2018-07-17 06:35:27 UTC

For every two words they send you send one. 2:1 same with time between messages. But really grug just need be grugself

2018-07-17 06:36:45 UTC

I myself have ran a woman or two off in my younger years by being too available.

2018-07-17 06:37:05 UTC

Or four

2018-07-17 06:38:27 UTC

>Grug talk to grugella >"Unga bunga grug tee hee" >Rock fall out of grug loincloth >grug face when

2018-07-17 13:35:57 UTC

@Francis V in my opinion if you are in a relationship then you shouldn’t be concerned with any 2:1 bs.

Also if you have found a woman you have a real connection with you should be natural. If she feels the same connection to you then you shouldn’t be concerned with putting on a front and do what these pick up artist tell you. If you find a girl who isn’t pleased because you text her first or you send her the same amount of messages, she’s the wrong girl anyway.

2018-07-17 13:44:05 UTC

That's true. If you've been with her a while it should be easy to communicate with her. You should be able to text her whenever you feel, as long as you aren't doing it out of insecurity or demanding an immediate response. If she's complaining you aren't communicating with her enough that could have several meanings. Could be some insecurity on her part, which isn't always a bad thing.

2018-07-17 15:07:48 UTC

I agree @JesseJames most PUA are scripted guidelines to make yourself not seem desperate in the first few days of meeting someone. Communication and being your best self is better for anything steady

2018-07-17 15:19:09 UTC

Right. Just as you want to know the girls true personality you should give her yours. Unless your motives are to fool her for a short amount of time to get her in bed pua are useless.

2018-07-17 16:12:18 UTC

@Francis V I've heard this rule and think there's some truth to it, but it's so hard for me to implement. It just feels so counterintuitive to me.

2018-07-17 16:19:36 UTC

@JesseJames I agree that once you're in a committed relationship, you probably shouldn't have to follow any "rules".

However, I don't know if the rest of what you said is necessarily true. Some guys, me included, are admittedly just kinda bad at talking to women and need to give it some extra thought.

2018-07-17 16:22:05 UTC

@Jacob That means you need to work on being personable. It doesn't mean that you need to learn 5 Cool Tricks To Make Any Girl Like You

2018-07-17 16:22:45 UTC

You need *6* Cool Tricks To Make Any Girl Like You

2018-07-17 16:22:52 UTC

Ooooooooh

2018-07-17 16:24:06 UTC

This Cool Cat Is Talking To Hundreds Of Women, And Basically, You're A Dumb Idiot

2018-07-17 16:27:35 UTC

Based on a quick Google search, I need to learn *10* cool tricks

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/468816045038239750/Screenshot_20180717-092700.png

2018-07-17 16:30:58 UTC

@Jacob as far as being personable goes, listen to what people say, and smile genuinely. People like to talk in a conversation, not be talked at, unless you're a uniquely interesting person, which is less than one in 100

2018-07-17 16:32:42 UTC

That 10 point list was basically 8/10 different ways of saying "show interest in other people"

2018-07-17 16:33:34 UTC

Which is probably something I don't do enough of

2018-07-17 16:35:24 UTC

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/468818012921921546/Screenshot_20180717-093500.png

2018-07-17 16:35:37 UTC

lol I can imagine this tip going wrong

2018-07-17 16:39:28 UTC

No you’re right about the 2:1 thing it’s not for relationships which are serious. There shouldn’t be such a barrier as message length to a healthy relationship

2018-07-17 16:50:51 UTC

@Jacob read about body language. That can make a huge difference.

2018-07-17 16:55:43 UTC

How to win friends and influence people @Jacob

2018-07-17 17:03:05 UTC

@Zyzz funny thing about that book, the first edition had a chapter specifically for married couples, it was later removed as the book became to be known better as a resource for business-types

2018-07-17 17:04:33 UTC

But you can find that chapter online

2018-07-17 17:08:35 UTC

Is it good @ThisIsChris i read the rest of the book a few years ago. It was good but a lot of it was common sense. My grandpa actually recommended. It. He said it helped him when he moved to Cali from an isolated farm.

2018-07-17 18:07:45 UTC

@Zyzz Oh ya I was already planning on buying that

2018-07-27 04:58:22 UTC

I have a girlfriend!

2018-07-27 04:59:31 UTC

Gratz bro

2018-07-27 04:59:48 UTC

Awesome! Now turn this on and let things happen naturally. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZW9SiFzR8s

2018-07-27 05:06:20 UTC

She's in Australia so I'm not sure that's going to work, but I'm going to visit her in December so I'll keep this in mind.

2018-07-27 06:10:19 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD ayyyyyyyyyy nice

2018-07-27 06:11:19 UTC

Did you send her a letter?

"Do you like like me?

Yes
No"

2018-07-27 10:10:09 UTC
2018-07-27 10:50:33 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD how did it happen? Did you ask her out?

2018-07-27 11:56:10 UTC

We met through my church. I saw her over the summer but she wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I kept emailing her every so often though and just the other day she started emailing me back and then we started video calling one another. I asked to go and see her and she said yes and so I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes.

2018-07-27 12:51:11 UTC

When are you traveling to the Southern Hemisphere?

2018-07-27 12:57:53 UTC

Probably December around Christmas time.

2018-07-27 12:58:16 UTC

We haven't fully worked out the details yet.

2018-07-27 13:17:00 UTC

That will be nice considering that is their spring/summer.

2018-07-27 13:17:55 UTC

Australia is a great place to visit. So much to see. What area will you be traveling to while there?

2018-07-27 13:22:34 UTC

South Australia, North of Adelaide.

2018-07-27 13:29:38 UTC

It's a family farm sort of in the middle of nowhere.

2018-07-27 13:30:02 UTC

A lot like where I live.

2018-07-27 13:30:54 UTC

Awesome. I never got to travel that far south when I was there. I have heard the southern coast has great coastline also.

2018-07-28 05:45:05 UTC

I need that nervous man emoji on this server. I just got off the phone with her father. I hope I made a good impression.

2018-07-28 05:46:05 UTC

You did.

2018-07-28 05:48:26 UTC

simply talking to her dad is a great sign. She wouldn't do it if she wasn't serious

2018-07-28 05:50:30 UTC

I was worried I was moving things along too quickly but then she goes and pulls introducing me to her father the day after I ask her to be my girlfriend. I think we might be made for each other. We're constantly keeping each other on our toes.

2018-07-28 05:52:05 UTC

Yeah that's serious

2018-07-28 05:53:13 UTC

Right now the biggest struggle in my relationship is getting to know her dad better

2018-07-28 05:54:11 UTC

I plan on asking for his blessing soon

2018-07-28 05:55:48 UTC

Congratulations man that's great. I always love seeing IE guys settling down and getting ready to raise the next generation of Identitarians.

2018-07-28 05:57:06 UTC

Thanks and something I can tell you from experience is that if a girl is introducing you to her parents she's serious about you.

2018-07-28 06:06:48 UTC

That's a relief. She is very quiet and modest so it's sometimes hard to pin down how she feels. I did notice a distinct shift in her messages when she started emailing me again though. I think her being in America for the first time and meeting so many people was overwhelming for her. She was homeschooled on her families small farm in South Australia so she doesn't have very much social experience.

2018-07-28 06:10:13 UTC

Now that she is back home she seems much more confident.

2018-07-28 10:44:15 UTC

How much do you love her accent @Der Seeteufel - SD

2018-07-28 11:25:14 UTC

@Zyzz it's the only reason I want to marry her. 😍

2018-07-28 11:26:00 UTC

Classic

2018-07-28 11:27:21 UTC

Just kidding, but it is very sexy. I really like how she says my name. Something about pronouncing German names with an Australian accent is amazing.

2018-07-28 18:55:45 UTC

I want to see a selfie of you and a kangaroo.

2018-07-28 19:15:25 UTC

Boxing a red kangaroo.

2018-07-28 19:55:55 UTC

I used to have a picture of me with a baby tiger from when I was in Subic Bay in the Philippines. It was a good conversation starter. Chicks dig baby animals.

2018-07-28 20:06:17 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SDVery Happy for you! Yes,usually if a girl introduces you to her parents,she's thinking very serious. Also i had my good friend Misha from Australia develop a great relationship with her now hubby here in America. They did alot of work back n forth, and she finally moved over here,married & is now an American citizen for the past few years. She's awesome,we are alot alike. Anyways i was very happy for her & hubby and they have been doing well. I honestly hope the best for you & her,that your relationship goes far. 😁

2018-07-31 13:46:27 UTC

My girlfriend told me last night that she would like to have 7 children and that if she has a boy she wants to name him Alexander. 😍

2018-07-31 19:04:34 UTC

Alexander the Great, good name!

2018-07-31 20:06:47 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD 7! ... did you say she had a sister?

2018-07-31 20:12:18 UTC

Yeah but I'm not sure if she's spoken for or not.

2018-08-02 15:46:58 UTC

@Tanner - SC her sister is still single but you'll have to convert to Lutheranism and join my church if you want me to introduce you to her.

2018-08-02 17:09:31 UTC

Sorry, I was joking. I know it was a religious based connection outside of my religion. Just dreaming, sounds like a lovely situation.

2018-08-02 17:10:01 UTC
2018-08-02 17:21:51 UTC

@Tanner - SC I know. It's pretty great. She is the definition of Trad and not because she knows our memes and is trying to be more traditional because she knows it's the right thing to do. It's just the way she is.

2018-08-02 17:25:40 UTC

“She’s my kind of woman, as good as they come”
https://youtu.be/CP2L6QAzngI

2018-08-02 19:22:10 UTC

I asked her about children again and this was her response. She's totally unaware of our memes. This is just how she thinks. I'm completely in love with this girl.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/474658186679418900/20180802_141744.jpg

2018-08-02 19:23:33 UTC

Jesus Christ, I thought girls like that went extinct

2018-08-02 19:24:10 UTC

Need to find me one o'them

2018-08-02 19:39:47 UTC

"I'd like my little girls to look just like me"

2018-08-02 19:39:51 UTC

racist!

2018-08-02 19:47:55 UTC

@Deleted User don’t get so black pilled. I’ve been married to one for almost 13 years. They’re out there.

2018-08-02 19:54:54 UTC

I do highly recommend going to church and really committing to being an active member. I was introduced to her by my pastor. There are other young single men in my church but I'm the one who attends the voter's meetings and volunteers for committees.

2018-08-02 22:41:51 UTC

Randomly came across this, good stuff

2018-08-03 22:52:33 UTC

#farmrelationships

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/475073520976527370/Screenshot_20180803-175125_Viber.jpg

2018-08-03 23:21:08 UTC

@celticflame I know that talking to her father is a big deal but what does discussing livestock purchases mean?

2018-08-03 23:39:56 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD how much does a good milk cow go for?

2018-08-03 23:47:43 UTC

900 - 3000 dollars depending on quality and about 1000 dollars a year to feed if you have summer grass.

2018-08-03 23:52:25 UTC
2018-08-03 23:56:30 UTC

My mother's boyfriend runs cattle and he says to assume $2.50 per day. Roughly.

2018-08-03 23:57:05 UTC

There's lots of variables.

2018-08-03 23:57:15 UTC

Whole milk = wholesome relationship

2018-08-03 23:58:02 UTC

We have cows and use them to get massive tax cuts. Look into green-belting your land; we pay 90% less taxes on our property.

2018-08-03 23:58:26 UTC

That alone makes them worth keeping, if you have a decent enough sized property.

2018-08-03 23:59:53 UTC

I'll have about 640 acres but part of that will be rented from my uncles.

2018-08-04 00:03:34 UTC

Most of the land will be devoted to grain crops. Livestock is secondary out here.

2018-08-04 00:04:13 UTC

At least on my father's land.

2018-08-04 01:33:10 UTC

My family also takes advantage of many farm related tax breaks and government grants. Most of our facility’s and equipment are reimbursed from government grants.

2018-08-04 01:37:43 UTC

Can I get goats and get a massive tax ride off?

2018-08-04 01:38:32 UTC

I have chickens. Do they count too? I am serious.... My family is big

2018-08-04 01:44:00 UTC

It varies from state to state. I would say more of our grants are from the state government. But as far as tax right offs I am positive there are right offs for live stock. You should check it out.

2018-08-04 01:46:24 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD lol,Honestly I have no clue. Maybe looking into buying land?🤔😋

2018-08-04 01:49:30 UTC

I am going to look into it. Taxes are ridiculous here. Our property taxes have gone up over a grand in 10 years.... Lived in the same place for 12 years....

2018-08-07 02:03:22 UTC

My girlfriend told me today that her brother wants to take me hunting for kangaroos when I go to visit her. @Tanner - SC so getting a selfie with one is a real possibility.

2018-08-07 02:04:03 UTC

'Roo hunting is a thing?

2018-08-07 02:06:10 UTC

Yeah it's a pretty big thing apparently. She asked me if I had any guns which I thought was weird but apparently her brother is a bit of a gun guy and hunter so he wanted to see what I had.

2018-08-07 02:08:12 UTC

I think I'll probably get along with him pretty well. She is very close to her brother so I am glad we have something in common.

2018-08-07 02:28:43 UTC

Oh man, I would be so envious if you pull this off.

2018-08-07 02:30:08 UTC

The only thing that could make it better is if you drive to/from your hunting spot in a ute.

2018-08-07 12:44:06 UTC

@Tanner - SC He actually sent me a picture. It's not a ute but it's still pretty Aussie.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/476369948222947348/20180807_074009.jpg

2018-08-07 12:53:18 UTC

Also just for the IE ladies reading the relationships channel, he's single.

2018-08-07 13:13:27 UTC

All SUVs down there require snorkels...or it seems that way.

2018-08-07 13:13:48 UTC

When I was down there we had a rental and needed to do two creek crossings.

2018-08-17 16:58:49 UTC

Mates I’m engaged to a good faithful Christian woman, but how do I trust a woman I love to not use my love as a weapon against me? And how do I tell if she is doing it?

2018-08-17 16:59:44 UTC

I’m getting the impression that I am being used for my money and for the benefits we will get when we marry, she’s in the engineer corps of the army.

2018-08-17 17:00:16 UTC

But despite years of knowing each other I can’t trust her completely

2018-08-17 18:57:30 UTC

I’m just tired it really wasn’t due to anything but that I always get sad when I’m tired go figure lol

2018-08-17 18:57:57 UTC

Thought there was an issue when I was tired but really I’m just making a mountain out of a mole hill

2018-08-17 21:33:24 UTC

@Francis V it's not a mole hill. It might not be a mountain either but mistrust is a serious relationship issue. Money is another major problem for a lot of relationships. I would recommend taking to her about your concerns deliberately. First I think it would be a good idea to write them down and go through them yourself and consider consulting your pastor about any issues. Marriage is the most important decision you will ever make in your life. Love definitely can blind us to issues that perhaps a trusted elder can see more clearly. I'd also just like to say in closing that marriage isn't a secular institution. Pray on any concerns and make sure you are building your marriage on a solid foundation in Gods word and not on earthly desires.

2018-08-17 23:58:09 UTC

@Francis V I don't know much about you or your lady, but there are some non-religious aspects to consider. A woman wanting her mate & potential father of her children to have resources to sustain them is pretty normal. There's a hardwired biological aspect to it, so I wouldn't get too concerned about that part. Seeing as she's Christian, it may even be more prevalent, as religious women often have a desire to take a traditional role.
As far as your love not being used against you: If you are a Christian, then you are already following Christ off of raw faith, you have to put a little bit of faith in her, and she in you.

Having doubts before typing the big knot is normal. Cover your bases, but do not talk yourself out of a good thing because of uncertainties.

2018-08-18 21:05:23 UTC

@missliterallywho yeah I was thinking of the sad-while-tired part of it too. @Francis V

2018-08-19 05:10:40 UTC

@Francis V If there's something that is obviously still bugging you,its best to talk to her about it now & try to work through those things. As far as the money,it's understandable to feel that way. But make sure you speak to her first. Most women do want to make sure they will be with a man that they know will be able to care & provide for them,especially later when kids come into it. Its pretty normal. But i know unfortunately there can be those that take advantage. Its likely something you both didn't realize & once you get it out in the open,with your cards on the table,the better the both of you will feel. 1 of the main things that also attracted me to my hubby was knowing he had a good job,would be a good provider & a good father. The rest although we went through some trying times in the beginning, because we went through hard times & worked together through them,made us a stronger couple years later & I'm greatful for it.

2018-08-19 05:14:35 UTC

When something is really bothering you,speak up to your partner & try to talk honestly & hopefully come to a decent compromise or it may be something you didn't have to worry about at all once you realized you had spoken to the other about it. You won't know until you ask. I hope things will proceed for the better, goodluck.

2018-08-19 16:27:20 UTC

I shoud probably admit one of my own failures in this regard. I don't know if I should I tell my girlfriend about my previous sexual experience? She is a virgin and very religious. I am not a virgin and have only recently rededicated myself to christianity. She knows that I am ashamed of things I have done in the past and that I'm repentant but I haven't told her about my sex life.

2018-08-19 16:42:19 UTC

I would never advertise my weaknesses. Be honest if it comes up, but I wouldn’t bring it up, not this early in the relationship.

2018-08-21 16:42:41 UTC

We talked about it and it was not a big deal it was that she kept our temporary roommates deposit on our new house. (Her friend is deploying to Korea or some such place soon and living with us for the two months until then). The truth is that I can afford it and that I was tired from driving twelve hours and hopped up on caffeine so I was experiencing caffeine and lack of sleeping induced psychosis I think.

2018-08-21 16:43:12 UTC

I had to pay all three of our parts but it’s not much to me so I’m not going to fret over this.

2018-08-21 16:45:14 UTC

As for the religious angle I have no doubt as to the purity and divinity of our union. We are both virgins and the union will be a lasting one, we in 6 years of knowing and dating have never had so much as an argument it has always been a discussion. We talk openly about the obstacles we face and the plans we must undertake to overcome them. Thank you all for the advice and God bless.

2018-08-21 16:46:30 UTC

There is One other issue, she is a nondenominational Christian and is quite opposed to going to a Catholic church into which I have been confirmed and have gone to since I was a young boy. How do I bring up that I’d like her to become Catholic when she’s fairly opposed to such things?

2018-08-21 16:55:59 UTC

I think she’s been told falsehoods about the church honestly

2018-08-21 17:00:27 UTC

Personally I take a more fiery soul perspective in that I motivate myself to do great things through providence. Through a sort of late 19th century interpretation of God and our role in his world. While she is more into the penance version of Christianity with the nice doctrine interpretations. It’s nothing big we both are Christians I would however like her to come to my church of course however she is completely opposed to it.

2018-08-25 23:05:02 UTC

Guys my girlfriend played the harp for me today. I couldn't hear a single note because she is on the other side of the planet and the video and audio quality was complete garbage, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to buy a ring before I go to see her.

2018-08-25 23:30:31 UTC

Haven't you only been dating for a month? And you've seen each other in person once?

2018-08-26 01:08:35 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD dude that's trad

2018-08-26 01:11:39 UTC

@Tanner - SC yeah we have met each other in person once but she had to go back to Australia.

2018-08-26 01:20:31 UTC

@Tanner - SC what's your opinion on that? in my own experience, I dated several women in 6+ month relationships that never went anywhere before meeting my wife when I was 23, so even though I proposed to my wife within 3 months, I felt sure in knowing she was the one. This experience always made me sympathetic to people who want to propose within a fairly short time span. (I compare this to a couple I know who won't commit to marriage after 12 years of "dating", with 8 years of living together.)

2018-08-26 01:34:25 UTC

@Tanner - SC I have to chime in in that. I met my wife online, I'm 28 and she's 20 we dated for bout 3 months, before I met her, then I met her and weve been together ever since, Also we were married after 8 months, but also were living together so maybe this sped up the getting use to each other cycle I don't know. But weve been together over 2 years now, and have a 5 month old babygirl. So I would side with a fast marriage because that was my case. Also I've know guys who are thinking bout getting married and just like @ThisIsChris stated they were together bout 8 years dating. I just think that seems insane. But that's just my opinion.

2018-08-26 01:37:31 UTC

@Francis V i understand where your coming from I was raised catholic and my wife is non Dem Protestant. And it makes things harder because of that. I dont really have any advice on it, just would like to talk to you or if you feel ya need to talk I'm here as well on this issue. Cheers

2018-08-26 01:48:10 UTC

IMO, 8 months isn’t too fast. Meeting face-to-face only once is too fast. I’m not an expert, I’m just cautious. Nothing wrong with meeting online or talking long distance, but there needs to be meatspace time.

2018-08-26 01:48:49 UTC

Yea that makes sense, we lived together for 8 months so

2018-08-26 01:50:12 UTC

Living together before marriage is not something I support, but that’s like the equivalent of dating for 3 years in terms of time exposure and being exposed in times of stress or need.

2018-08-26 01:57:07 UTC

That makes sense, personally I don't see an issue of living together because it worked for me, but that's not like I would reccemend that for other people.

2018-08-26 02:01:22 UTC

My girlfriend and I talk every day via video calls and I have spoken to both her parents. I honestly would have probably married her sight unseen though. She's unbelievably beautiful and so trad it literally blows me away. She wants to be a stay at home mom, 7 kids, she cooks, cleans, and sews. She has never worn pants and plays the floor harp. I was just returning to faith when I met her but now I'm absolutely confident. It's like God heard my prayers and shot her out of a cannon directly into my heart. Sorry for the cheesy analogy but I'm in love.

2018-08-26 02:05:36 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD yep Skype in invaluable for transnational relationships. My wife's European and that came in handy while she had to stay there while we worked through immigration.

2018-08-26 02:07:19 UTC

Immigration is something I'm worried about. I might need your help with that @ThisIsChris but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

2018-08-26 02:07:44 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD Yeah there's a lot to learn, I'll be happy to help.

2018-08-26 02:08:13 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD be careful with people from other countries though alotta fakes out there. Just use caution and logic and reason as much as possible. Don't let ur emotion take over ur senses

2018-08-26 02:09:32 UTC

@SuperTomPerry -RI don't worry we met through my church. She's the real deal. I have met her in person too. She was here briefly during the summer.

2018-08-26 02:11:10 UTC

She's a homeschooled farm girl. My pastor has known the family for years.

2018-08-26 02:11:41 UTC

He's the one who set us up together.

2018-08-26 02:20:59 UTC

@Der Seeteufel - SD OK good to go. Me and my wife both homeschooled as well.

2018-08-26 05:07:31 UTC

Where are women even at? Online? Only place i ever meet women are at bars/clubs and they’re not exactly keepers

2018-08-26 05:15:09 UTC

@Sherlock Try a night class

2018-08-26 05:15:58 UTC

Probably better for <#436337973001322508>

2018-08-27 07:09:27 UTC

I can't help but chime in here. Years ago i met my hubby on Halloween,by December we got engaged. We started living together in January and got married in May. I was the one who knew i was going in with a man who had 2 kids & divorced already but it was well worth it because i could see the man he already was ahead of time & I wouldn't change it for anything. And we did have 1 daughter together. Next May 28,2019 will be our 25th Anniversary. We have been through alot together & I love him more now than i ever did & could never imagine my world without him.

2018-08-27 16:45:08 UTC

@celticflame Thanks for sharing. A lot of people I've talked to who "knew quickly" have been v. successful.

2018-08-27 18:09:03 UTC

@missliterallywho dreams are wild sometimes, self fulfilling prophecy sometimes it seems

2018-08-27 19:44:52 UTC

@ThisIsChrisThankyou,quite true!

2018-08-27 19:45:34 UTC

@SuperTomPerry -RIexactly & I myself have had a few that have come true too.

2018-08-28 04:32:43 UTC

My wife and I dated for a year in high school. Got engaged and married two years later. We didn’t live together until marriage although she stayed with me a lot. I think when you know you know. If my wife and I had been adults when we met I would have been willing to marry her within a couple of months. If you have that connection there is no denying it.

2018-08-28 11:16:50 UTC

My wife and I, when I was 20 and she 19, knew we were going to marry about 3 months into dating.

2018-09-03 18:43:55 UTC

When preparing to marry a woman, no one really know how the fertility situation will work out. How do you ensure you don’t get stuck with an infertile woman?
* Would you get fertility testing done before proposing? Testing the guy is cheap and easy, testing the woman can cost thousands of dollars and involve invasive surgical procedures.
* Would you start trying for children after marriage and if none come, divorce?
* Would you start trying for children after getting engaged and if no children come, cancel the wedding?
* Would you agree to start trying for children and hold off on the engagement until she gets pregnant?

2018-09-03 19:19:39 UTC

Dang that’s a tough one.

2018-09-03 19:20:22 UTC

Ask why she's infertile. If it was because of cervical cancer...run.

2018-09-03 19:21:57 UTC

If all the criteria were met but we were surprised with infertility...I wouldn't divorce, my personal belief is that miracles happen.

2018-09-03 19:22:33 UTC

Yeah miracles happen and "scientific certainty" really isn't that when it comes to biology.

2018-09-03 19:23:16 UTC

> Ask why she's infertile.

I’m talking about any woman who you don’t know her fertility status. I’m not talking about someone who *knows* she’s infertile.

2018-09-03 19:24:17 UTC

Unless she's literally had her reproductive organs removed I don't think "infertility" is ever 100%.

2018-09-03 19:25:51 UTC

The only couple I know who really couldn't conceive is in their 80s and missed the window of modern medicine when they were young

2018-09-03 19:26:15 UTC

Other couples I've known have struggled with it, but eventually conceived after trying several times.

2018-09-03 19:27:34 UTC

There's all sorts of fertility treatments now too, black and white infertility sounds more like a spook created by J-left media.

2018-09-03 19:28:00 UTC

Like "sexual compatibility"

2018-09-03 19:28:25 UTC

I’m reading articles that show fertility is much lower than I had assumed. Like this site <https://www.livescience.com/51761-ticking-clock-optimum-age-for-women-to-begin-families-infographic.html>

It says if you want 90% likelihood of having 3 children, you must start trying when she is 23. Well shoot, I’m 31, I won’t necessarily pull a woman young enough to be 23 after marriage when we start trying for children. And I don’t want to be stuck with a no-child life.

2018-09-03 19:29:16 UTC

I have multiple peers who have been trying to get pregnant for years unsuccessfully. The data in the above link agrees with this.

2018-09-03 19:31:08 UTC

Even including IVF, the most radical of fertility treatments, 90% chance of 3 children is only if you start when she’s 28. If I want 5 children and if I’m not pulling 21 year olds, I need a failure plan.

2018-09-03 19:38:16 UTC

>sounds like a spook created by the media

Manipulating statistics for divorce rates to include blacks and high school drop-outs and re-marriages in order to scare white educated men away from marriage, I agree.

Low fertility rates, I don’t see how that would discourage men from seeking to be fathers. If anything, it might encourage more sex. Regardless, the above data doesn’t lie and unlike divorce rates, fertility is unlikely to be affected by as many factors, so the results are more relevant to us.

2018-09-03 19:48:22 UTC

I'm no medical doctor but this is the only time I've ever seen a scientific source saying you must start so young. Morally speaking I'm all for young families, but practically speaking every family I've known has 3+ kids and started after 23, some in their 30s. One such family started at 35, and their third kid was unplanned ("an accident"). That includes some couples that struggled at first. Saying you need (the woman) to start at 23 just doesn't match up with my experience.

2018-09-03 19:57:55 UTC

I think it’s because of the 90% confidence interval. That could mean 10% of people are infertile and the rest have kids as soon as they want them. This throws off the average. So it’s not that most people need to start at 23, but that if you include the severely fertile challenged in the data, the average must start at 23.

So how do I ensure I don’t get stuck with a ten-percenter?

2018-09-03 20:02:50 UTC

Fertility has been lowered by HPV and HPV Vaccines...otherwise, you're fine.

2018-09-03 20:03:40 UTC

Stay healthy and date healthy.

2018-09-03 21:38:22 UTC

That’s not enough for me, I’d like a plan. Thus far, I’m leaning towards fertility testing before getting engaged.

2018-09-03 21:40:46 UTC

The biggest issue of your plan is how to get that testing done without weirding her out.

2018-09-03 21:42:06 UTC

Don't get me wrong, I'm in favor of it. I just don't know how to even go about bringing it up. It seems hard enough to do in the case where a husband and wife have tried and failed for a while.

It's asking a woman to potentially unveil the most brutal of truths.

2018-09-03 21:48:29 UTC

You could >stumble upon information, and in a roundabout way make her think it's her own idea to find out?

2018-09-03 21:48:32 UTC

lol

2018-09-03 21:49:37 UTC

“Hey I found out there are great ways to test one’s fertility, here are my results; let’s see yours”?

2018-09-03 21:55:07 UTC

@Tanner - SC I think this is the only way to make it turn out well

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/436337800405581824/486293087799345153/Screenshot_20180903-175419.png

2018-09-03 21:55:42 UTC

man, modernity is so weird

2018-09-03 22:07:01 UTC

Don’t ask your girlfriend to take a fertility test lol.

2018-09-04 00:18:18 UTC

Geez most people are afraid of having kids because of the...media...

2018-09-04 00:18:36 UTC

We are fortunate.

2018-09-04 01:03:30 UTC

The new Murdoch Murdoch knows what I’m talking about:
<https://youtu.be/s76QB5wiOlY>

2018-09-04 01:38:52 UTC

MURDOCH-CHAN NOOOOO

2018-09-04 03:56:12 UTC

@Tanner - SC haha that's great

2018-09-04 05:11:03 UTC

Ultrasounds and bloodtests from a gynecologist can give a lot of insight. Not a 100% guarantee (which doesn't exist) but it will lead to a better understanding of her ability to carry.

2018-09-04 06:45:37 UTC

Thanks y’all, that’s a plan I can follow.

2018-09-05 14:14:21 UTC

I know I’m late to the party @Tanner - SC but you can tell a lot about fertility by appearance. Also was she on the pill? That stuff can mess with her health in many ways. I go married to a 28 yo when I was in my mid thirties. Two kids down and looking to have number 3 before she is 32.

2018-09-20 06:54:54 UTC

I know I'm a bit late this too so... There are 14yrs btwn my hubby & I, I got married at 21,but had my daughter at 23. I know myself & Hubby are both "Fertile Myrtles", so it goes without saying that the 2 older Stepkids are Fertile but my step daughter has a harder time delivering. My own daughter I believe will be like me,so has also done the Norplant until she's ready some years later.

2018-09-20 06:56:53 UTC

I think asking a woman outright about her Fertility would likely freak most out. So like above as mentioned..,its always good to ask what the mom,sisters, aunts have been like as far as getting pregnant right away,etc.

2018-10-02 22:53:20 UTC

I thought this was pretty interesting. I'm surprised SD still has this law. I hope it stays.

2018-10-02 22:55:08 UTC

Dueling should be brought back

2018-10-02 22:55:21 UTC

Seconded

2018-10-02 23:07:31 UTC

I hope it grows to other states!

2018-10-03 00:33:02 UTC

I don't think that is going to happen. Honestly this law might not even survive this case.

2018-10-18 23:50:05 UTC

This is the best book on relationships I’ve ever read.
https://www.audible.com/pd/The-5-Love-Languages-for-Men-Audiobook/B00SI7P9QC

2018-10-19 02:17:21 UTC

I have the generic 5 languages book. I will check out the for men version. thanks for the recommend

2018-10-19 02:51:16 UTC

Yeah I've taken two marriage courses both mentioned 5 love languages

2018-10-21 06:41:17 UTC

What does it mean when a girl asks "what are your stats?"

2018-10-21 06:41:23 UTC

Asking for a friend

2018-10-21 06:46:33 UTC

I sincerely hope that's not in reference to body count, ugh.

2018-10-21 07:46:16 UTC

I think she wants to know your strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Check your character sheet.

2018-10-21 14:22:34 UTC

Height, weight, bench press, squat, hair eye color? AncestryDNA results?

2018-10-21 18:32:11 UTC

Send her all your lift stats. Deadlift, squat, bench, pull ups. She’ll laugh and then clarify what she meant.

2018-10-21 18:34:09 UTC

Or if you’re a car guy, send your horsepower, cylinder count, brake piston count, wheelbase, curb weight, etc.

2018-10-21 19:17:37 UTC

She was just a random girl on the bus. I was just wondering what she meant

2018-10-21 21:54:50 UTC

If you’re ever confused by what a girl is asking (all of us are, and frequently), play it off with a joke and then she’ll either joke along or clarify what she was more seriously seeking.

2018-10-21 23:49:44 UTC

You're right about that. It's good advice. I used to just send emojis to girls when I didn't know how to respond. That or a "..."

2018-10-29 05:37:21 UTC

Dang, I was thinking measurements...height, weight, uh.......height.

2018-10-30 19:04:50 UTC

Interesting hypothesis. Probably correct in the broad general sense, but the reverse of course happens in individuals and situations.

2018-10-31 20:30:51 UTC

Sounds basically right in my experience

2018-10-31 20:31:25 UTC

Every man’s deepest desire is to have his girl look up to him and trust him

2018-10-31 20:32:49 UTC

Though it’s not entirely clear what their distinction is between respect and love and I couldn’t make it far enough into the video to find out if they clarify that

2018-11-02 13:15:15 UTC

@missliterallywho I watched that one thought it was really good and accurate

2018-11-27 22:05:10 UTC

At what point do you give up on a friend who can't accept your political views?

2018-11-27 22:06:21 UTC

I personally don't need everyone to agree with me and I'm fine having friends with different beliefs. I'm just wondering what to do when it gets to the point that your views are constantly an issue for them that leads to them getting mad at you. At what point do you just give up on trying to keep them happy?

2018-11-27 22:21:03 UTC

Sounds like their problem. You have no problem with their beliefs mostly. They have a problem with you

2018-11-27 22:22:33 UTC

If they get mad enough at you they’ll stop being your friend. If he won’t and he gets some sick pleasure out of being your friend and being mad at you I mean damn....how easy would it be to cut him out, meaning do you have mutual friends or has this been a friendship for a long time

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