we were texting a lot

and she seemed into me

she asked me to sit with her during a church service

and though i had to get up and help with the service, i asked her on a date afterward and she said yes

and before then she had been asking about me

her mom came up to ask me my name because her daughter had been asking about me

and she initiated texting me several times

but idk man

wow that's serious

i would just text her how she's doing every once in a while

I would say get right to the point of asking her to hang out again. If she ditches the second date-she's out.

No messing around, no beating around the bush

i was planning on just talking to her next time we see each other at church

and then asking her on a date once the semester was over and she wouldn't have a good excuse

Thing is if girls want to hang out with you they will make it happen

True, I'm kind of skeptical because she didn't offer an exact alternative time when she postponed at first

she said we can still talk at church and plan something once the semester is over

so i was planning on talking to her at church and asking her for another date once the semester ends

and if that doesn't work out then i'll move on

Oh come on thats ridiculous. Does she think you are some chump who will wait around for a month? She's wrong. You are the prize

She can't find one afternoon/evening? She definitely can

^^

^^^

she also lives a half hour drive away from me

Is she shy? Nervous about a date?

and is 18, and doesn't have her own car

Ok so she is young and definitely immature when it comes to dating

yes

she is young

but we talked about guns

and how great the liberal salt after trump's election was

and she's gorgeous

How old are yu?

22

23 in july

Same lol

Finals are coming up arent they? I would give her the space, keep texting and doing the church stuff. And once the semester ends, hit her with a, "so where are you taking me on our date now that schools out". joking/playfuly of course. Put the ball in her court.

i was planning on once the semester ends just going up to her at church or texting her and saying "so how about that coffee?"

Ok. She could be a little intimidated by an older guy. Probably not used to getting attention from a guy your age. If she is really into you, I bet you could convince her to hang out with you within 2 weeks

normally i would think pursuing a girl a few years younger than me would be weird but since she initiated by asking her mom about me/inviting me to sit with her at church, i think it's more ok

Nah dude girls love older guys, naturally attracted to them

yep

Just be careful you don't get friendzoned. Texting too much can do that

yeah i've been avoiding texting her

if she initiates i respond

and if she initiates several times in a row i might text her

but i dont' like texting in general

you prevent being friendzoned by "keeping it man to woman". i would text her when you have something to say

if you do not text her much she may perceive that as disinterest

i would sit next to her at church every week

"you prevent being friendzoned by "keeping it man to woman". i would text her when you have something to say" great way to put it @Zyzz .

It's about making your intentions clear

^

if i get to church after her and she is alone i will sit next to her

text her before church and ask her if she'd like to sit next to you

good idea

this is how you make your intentions clear

and then i will talk to her after church, regardless

Definitely ask her to hang out again though man-that seems like its what you want to do

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola you could also ask her if you could take her to coffee after church or walk her home

she lives a half hour drive away from our church

and comes to church with her family

but i think i could ask if she wants to get lunch and give her a ride home

i think i will do that

Well said @Zyzz

Good idea. If she makes up some silly excuse, then maybe she is not mature enough for you

how do i differentiate silly excuse from legitimate excuse?

If she pulls something like ohhh uuhh im busy or have schoolwork or have to walk my dog, thats silly. Legit would be like oh I have to go visit my grandmother in the hospital

I think it's important too to see if she will offer another time if she's busy. If she does then she's probably interested in you

Last thing you could do is say ok, when are you free? If she says not until the end of the semester I would call her out jokingly

someone will thoroughly explain a legitimate excuse.

it also the feeling you get from how she responds.. learn to trust intuition

if she gives an excuse i'll just say "alright let me know when you're free for a date" and wait to see if she ever actually lets me know

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola one thing I would throw in there. even though 18-22/23 isn't unheard of, it really is quite a huge difference

according to the half your age+7 rule she's at my lower limit

but she is really gorgeous and trad

its rare for a girl to ever follow up with someone about when they are free for a date.. it is best to ask "so when are you free?"

if she can't do brunch after church one of these weeks soon should i ask her again once the semester is over?

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola I would play it by ear, meet her at Church, ask how things are going

if she's light on details then move on

she hasn't initiated texting in a while

so i guess i'll just play it by ear

tfw no gf until then

Don't worry man you are wicked young. And as you get older, you will meet more mature girls

<#436337973001322508> welcomes "tfw no gf" memes

dat fertility window tho

Gaiu

Plenty of time man

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola like @Pat-MA said 18 year olds are really immature and unstable (sorry young guys lol). If I were you I wouldn't bother with a girl younger than 21. Don't worry about fertility window, you have a good while.

feelsbadman

but alright

Yeah man, I read an article about how most girls hit their peak maturity nowadays at age 27

Also, one of the open secrets is this: most girls are trad in some way, it's the natural way

big thing to me is she was born and raised orthodox christian

and orthodox christians are already an intense minority in this country

I agree religion is important. On religion she sounds great, but I think the age thing really is a challenge.

true

i was a fucking retard at 18

i'm still a fucking retard, only slightly less

lol

Yeah I don't want to knock anyone man or woman, i can only imagine what I looked like to other people, but I quickly learned that girls 18-23 are basically pixies

Then around 23 they start to get a little more serious

my personal experience, though I'm sure it's the same the other way around as well

You are definitely right man. Then at 27 they usually take another turn

i was a shithead up until like 2 years ago

I'm a shithead

So i've been texting this girl for a week, then I ask her out on a date and she says she's not looking to date anyone right now. When I asked for her number initially I was perfectly clear I wanted to date her, so why did she text with me for a week acting like she was into me?

Because girls love attention

She could have been texting other guys at the same time

Oof, you are probably right though.

>texting for a week

no no no

Unfortunately it is probably done man. Lots of girls are like that though, on to the next

only use texting to set up a real world meeting

I probably messed up by not asking her out sooner right?

depends

just be aware of momentum

feelings build

or fall off

You do want to strike while the iron is hot. Ask her out when she is feeling you

@Attrition in the desert I think the principle behind what @Deleted User and @Pat-MA are saying is that you want to make your intentions clear. If you dilly dally for a week she may have no idea you're actually serious either

True, my rationale was that I didn't want to come on too strong.

I'm pretty retarded with women though so haha

I'd unironically recommend pua channels

they understand the female psyche very well

alot of pua are degenerate fags though

The least bad I'd say is RSDMax

Didn't one of those guys get kicked out of japan for being too chad rofl?

i like the website girlschase

I'll have to check both those out, thanks bois.

@Attrition in the desert#6260 that’s was julien I believe and no it wasn’t because he was being too chad but too rapey

Convo from <#436337973001322508> that belongs here:

>Is money really that attractive to women
The base biological value that women bring to a relationship is fertility and the base value that men bring is resources.

Most things men first notice in a women are indicators of fertility.

Most things women first notice in a man are indicators of resources and the ability to acquire resources.

Indeed, sexual market value like Stefan molyneux talks about.

I think it’s important to display your resources in a non tacky way. Taking it to the extreme, I think it looks tacky for a 20 something to drive around in a Ferrari or to wear a very expensive watch. The question here is how to display our resources in a non tacky manner that will attract the right girls rather than those looking for a meal ticket.

Why not discuss your ambition to own a decent home.

The relationship between men and women is complimentary. I.e. Men provide the resources, women utilize the resources to create and nurture a family/community.

Therefore, women are looking for a man who is responsible with his money and can provide for the long-term. Someone who isn't interested in wasting it on fancy luxury items.

Zyzz makes a fantastic point.

All rules that apply to the IE national server apply here - including professional language - irrespective of the topic. Thanks.

@everyone ^^^

Work out. Eat right. Increase your testosterone. Be a dick. Be fun. You’ll do ok.

tender aggression is the key

If I wear my Omega watch and some gold, is that tacky, or superior?

Ask yourself, do I look like a Persian dude dressing up?

I don't, I was wondering what a woman's perspective was, I should have clarified.

Just get this tatted on your chest so she knows you're not only rich, but have great taste

Put that thing away.

@John O - owo

So this girl at my church, when I first asked her on a date she said she was too busy with schoolwork when she cancelled our first planned date on me. Then when the semester ended I asked her again and she said she was busy with graduation, so I told her to let me know if she's ever free. But now graduation is over, do I try again to schedule a date or do I just consider this ship sailed unless she reaches out to me?

If she was interested she would have found time

that was my thinking

^^^

but she also just graduated from high school

so she's not the most mature person

obviously

she's only a couple years younger than me, before anyone says anything about that

If shes down, she will make the effort to contact YOU.

Young girls like that are fickle as hell

ship status: sailed

eyes toward the future i guess

Indeed mein freund

Next time that happens, press a little harder, like "well you're going to need a snack break. Let's meet at _________"

i probably could've done something like that

i was worried about coming on too strong

maybe me asking when the semester was over is what did that

Yea of course you were worried about that. It's hard to find the right balance.

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola if you have nothing to lose socially, go for it again. If she's part of your church and you're worried about a bad reputation, lay off of it

i think i might just give it time

and if we interact in person at church more

maybe give it a shot

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola my experience was that people weren't really stable people when it came to dating until they were 23. I assume it's something about hormones and settling down, not really sure. Also I don't think it's a hard rule, but I would use it as a guideline. Not sure how old you are but dating a woman slightly older than you isn't bad if you want to give the 23+ thing a shot.

@ThisIsChris i'm turning 23 in July. Church girl by comparison is 18

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola Even though I would root for you, this has all the signs of something that won't work out the way you were hoping.

yeah, i have similar feelings but I'm not sure if that's just me rationalizing out of being in pain over it

@Gaius Mucius Scaevola sounds like acceptance

1. "She'll probably hit me up."
2. "why would she show interest in me and invite me to sit next to her if she wasn't interested in me?"
3. "i'll just ask her again sometime."
4. "tfw no trad orthodox church girl gf"
5. "probably wouldn't have worked out anyway"

haha amazing

IMO, the problem is one-itis. Find another lead or two and pursue them, then consider coming back to this one after the focus is not so narrow and naturally your confidence around her will be higher too.

^

The women on Christian Mingle are incredibly traditional. Multiple profiles saying their main life goal is to be a good mother.

Already back into it, good for you, @Tanner - SC

Yeah, religion can be a good proxy for traditionalism. I know a few guys that met their wives at church

I heard this pick-up line is really effective:
Fight demographic decline, be mine!

So I'm about to go meet a girl from my church who has traveled all the way from Australia to look for a christian husband. We've sent a few emails back and forth but today I'm actually going to meet her in person. Any last minute advice?

Dood nice

@Der Seeteufel - SD I suggest giving extra attention to making her feel comfortable, even if she is enthusiastic, travelling to a new country to meet a man she hasn't met IRL before must be very stressful! Also she's there to learn about you, so show her around places important to you. (Did you clean your room?) House, maybe a quick pass by your work site, church, town center or wherever else you like to hang out.

We are going to meet at a church retreat in another state so she won't see my house, but my house is pretty clean. I don't actually live there most of the time because I get room and board where I work.

Don’t act like she is the only woman you’ve ever been around. Treat her like you would want a man to treat your daughter.

Make her laugh. Always make them laugh.

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"

Okay maybe don’t lead with that but you get the idea

I think I’ve figured out online dating. I recommend eHarmony, Christian Mingle, and Match.
* The messaging feature is not to introduce yourself, it’s not to flirt, it’s not to get to know them better.
* Just hit the “like” button on the girls you like.
* Put the rest of your effort into your profile itself and analyzing their profile before hitting “like”.
* If she “likes” you back, you proceed straight to asking her out via message. “Want to do <activity> on <> day at <> place at <> time?”
* If she accepts, “Great, see you then.”
* Do all further courting and vetting in person.
* If the date goes well, get her phone number and make further contact through phone/text.

^Accurate

@Tanner - SC good insight

@Tanner - SC that's good advice for texting a girl you met IRL too. Just ask her out, plan logistics and that's it. No reason to be too chatty. Guys worry about what they should say too much. If she's interested, you hardly have to say anything.

Tbh most girls I’ve met online like to chat in varying amounts prior to meeting in person. I’ve even spoken to a few on the phone. I think it’s a way for them to get comfortable with you prior to meeting face to face. We need to understand a girls experience with online dating is very different from ours. There are a lot of poorly socially adjusted people out there and many guys are just looking for hook ups. Chances are the girl you met wants to make sure you are neither of these people. If she wants to chat with you I would be receptive to make her as comfortable with you as you can

@Zyzz re: "there are a lot of poorly socially adapted people out there" hmm maybe we should start a dating site with IE-style vetting and rules

@Zyzz what apps were you using? No one looks for hooks ups on eHarmony. Plus, I make it clear in my profile what I’m seeking.

@TV She may also want to verify that you're a real person. Plenty of fake profiles out there that are used to lure women into unsafe situations. It's a real concern.

@TV She may also want to verify that you're a real person. Plenty of fake profiles out there that are used to lure women into unsafe situations. It's a real concern.

@Tanner - SC I use match, hinge, bumble, coffee meets bagel, and I am still on lesser apps like tinder and OkC. I have been out with girls from Match who complain about men they’ve met on Match and other dating apps. Guys will say one thing and go for another. Not everyone is upfront and honest these days. And girls are correct to be suspicious and distrusting initially. The only thing you can do as a man is understand how they feel and try to put them at ease. Stating your intent is a good start.

Do y’all think exclusivity should exist on the first date? Or are you fine with going on dates with multiple people at first and becoming exclusive with one after a few dates?

@Tanner - SC I think it should be, but it is not. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You can make your intent known that you are looking for something serious, I'd advise against it unless it comes up naturally, but never make it exclusive on the first date. You just met them.

Generally, you can date multiple people unless somebody "DTR's" which is define the relationship, a talk where you tell the girl to stop seeing others and you will too

Depends on how well it goes, and it should be communicated

@Deleted User Yeah, as you said. Communicate it. Never assume that she's not seeing others because you aren't. Spell it out what you want and if what you want is her

Now, also, going on a date is different than dating. Dating tends to imply seeing them for a bit. I don't see anything wrong with going on dates with multiple people to narrow the field, but your goal should be to make a choice. A company interviews three candidates for any position. Shouldn't you do likewise for the woman you are going to spend awhile with?

@Tanner - SC I second literally everything Washington said

@Tanner - SC Since the first date may be a last date...no, but the second date better be exclusive, I think if one is committed enough to agree to a second date, they are either using you for free dinner, or you are the one for now. So if they have other dates, they're using, if it's just you, on date 2, person is "well adjusted" to quote the great Stephen Bennett.

This seems like signing up for an inevitable hack and doxx list:
https://www.amren.com/news/2018/02/new-white-dating-site/

Not to mention that there will be literally no women on that site.

Publicize it to women only groups on facebook using a fake ACC

You could do a great deal in an afternoon for that site.

I'm already on whitedate.net

The women are spread out.

Membership is free until they hit 10k members if memory serves

@Freiheit - CA Is the site any good?

Not very populated but not full of degenerates.

The search filters are a little buggy sometimes.

Haven't been on in a while.

Am I doing this tinder thing correctly?

@Der Seeteufel - SD Maybe don’t try tinder.

No use the app to get her out on a date. From there you ask more personal questions. But also, yeah don’t expect much on tinder

Use the app for light screening

@Zyzz At that point in the conversation I'm assuming Andrew was like, "Eff it."

Agreed. Use it as a vehicle to propose a date after about one or two questions/talking, get their cellphone number as another POC, and then schedule the date shortly after

I have a picture of me in a trump hat which screens a lot of degenerates

“Swipe based on your political preferences”

@Zyzz Agreed. Tinder is good for screening what you want and don't want. It's at your discretion. I've seen very trad girls on Tinder, mostly garbage but trad chicks very seldom. Still they exist. It's your job to swipe left on thots

@Washington I literally swipe right on all of them and only pay attention to them if we match. If they are not what I want I will unmatch. Online dating is a filtering tool and the least amount of work you can put in to get a girl out on a date should be the goal

It’s literally a funnel and a numbers game

I use copy and paste openers and screening questions

I use them so frequently my phone already knows what I’m going to say

@Zyzz Don't swipe right all the time, it hurts you algorithmically, but yeah, I do likewise

Yeah I'm actually not even looking for dates on tinder. Its just a TRS troll. Basically just trying to expose Tinder THOTs to alternative view points.

@Der Seeteufel - SD tbh, you sound a bit bitter there. Try to work on projecting a more compassionate voice if that's what you're trying to do

@Washington interesting I didn’t know that

@Der Seeteufel - SD I think it would be smart for IE to find a willing woman who would dress in IE garb and write a pro white profile that effectively shills for IE.

We would take the pictures and we would create profiles (with her pictures) all across the country

Interesting enough I actually first heard about TRS and the Daily Shoah through some girls tinder profile. Except she was definitely real lol and not attractive.

@John O - I was going for bored rather than bitter but the point is just to have some guys on tinder that don't worship the ground these girls walk on. I'm not going for hearts and minds.

Holy crap she just replied. I'm going to wait about an hour and ask her for her phone number.

Waiting games are stupid

@Zyzz Just create a lot of accounts and redpill guys by sending them the link to our site/literature. 8Chan's been doing it for awhile, lmao.

You’ve received bad advice

Waiting games work though on some level. Texting back instantly is not a good habit and comes off as needy, initially at least.

Waiting games are stupid

Need to strike when the iron is hot. With that said if she takes 5 hrs to reply and you text back instantly yeah that comes off bad

the answer is inbetween.

I rarely disagree with Washington

It’s stupid to say “I will text back exactly one hour later”