Message from @Nope

Discord ID: 783705928989933578


2020-11-30 16:25:03 UTC  

i have a cow that has a green halter i call her moss cow

2020-11-30 17:53:05 UTC  

I had my leg X-rayed at my health check today - the doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'

I asked "inch high knees?"

He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高

2020-11-30 18:48:42 UTC  

What is Joe Biden's favorite movie? <:YouKnowTheThing:723005092764319776>

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/783041836436160522/SPOILER_MV5BNGViZWZmM2EtNGYzZi00ZDAyLTk3ODMtNzIyZTBjN2Y1NmM1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTAyODkwOQ.png

2020-11-30 23:10:00 UTC  

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Both of them get smashed and the giraffe falls over. The man gets up to leave and the bartender says, "Hey, you can't leave that laying there." The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe," and walks our the door.

2020-12-01 00:13:16 UTC  

The Thing: It was among us before Among Us

2020-12-01 01:41:12 UTC  

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent

2020-12-01 02:13:30 UTC  

I once tickled a man to death. I was charged with manslaughter.

2020-12-01 02:38:37 UTC  

What do you call a cow with no legs

Ground beef

2020-12-01 02:38:55 UTC  

What do you call a cow with 2 legs

Lean beef

2020-12-01 02:39:31 UTC  

What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence

Utter destructiooooooooon

2020-12-01 05:03:15 UTC  

Mood

2020-12-01 14:56:51 UTC  

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

2020-12-02 00:10:40 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/783485248234061854/image0.jpg

2020-12-02 02:16:29 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/783516911577071636/nrwb8daiyl261.png

2020-12-02 03:14:43 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/783531560741371904/unknown.png

2020-12-02 04:52:19 UTC  

What is that?

2020-12-02 04:54:33 UTC  

At first I thought it was a car engine but now I have my doubts...

2020-12-02 04:55:07 UTC  

It’s a suit for a cat

2020-12-02 05:14:45 UTC  

<:What2:777241822930010132>

2020-12-02 11:41:02 UTC  

Its a intake manifold. Probably for a ls motor

2020-12-02 14:47:34 UTC  

Does it have something to do with starting an engine

2020-12-02 15:26:39 UTC  

yeah

2020-12-02 15:26:47 UTC  

won't start without it

2020-12-02 15:27:07 UTC  

also gets really dirty if you let oil leak, which is why it's in the dishwasher

2020-12-02 16:46:29 UTC  

so basically the joke is it's gonna start something, but it's gonna start a fight, instead of an engine

2020-12-02 16:59:57 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/783739243087659068/image0-40.png

2020-12-02 17:26:11 UTC  

no, the joke is that when you try to clean that in the dishwasher, it'll make a mess because the dishwasher isn't made to clean off that much grease or carbon deposits. In short, it made a mess and the wife is pissed

2020-12-02 17:26:30 UTC  

and also because hubby put car parts before real chores

2020-12-02 17:26:36 UTC  

yes, so it starts an argument right?

2020-12-02 17:26:38 UTC  

xD

2020-12-02 17:26:40 UTC  

yeah

2020-12-02 19:20:21 UTC  

Add dawn to take care of the grease, worked for me.

2020-12-02 20:23:14 UTC  

Too complicated to be funny tbh 😂 <:KEK:726877368601411624>

2020-12-02 23:02:20 UTC  

Liberals make sense

2020-12-02 23:16:21 UTC  

The ones I've met make neither sense nor cents

2020-12-02 23:18:44 UTC  

Lol

2020-12-02 23:18:58 UTC  

BLM is 100% peaceful

2020-12-02 23:19:10 UTC  

*get it? Cause it's jokes*

2020-12-02 23:19:53 UTC  

Joe Biden. That's it, that's the joke

2020-12-02 23:27:02 UTC  

Most of my dad jokes make dollars

2020-12-02 23:27:59 UTC  

I also get some money from the laundry