My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side, ||so I crashed the car.|| Then when she asked what was wrong, ||I told her “nothing”||

If Pizaa was wood fired, how is it gonna get a job?

............

Even though I'm bald, I still have my favorite comb.
||I just can't part with it.||

I'm a member of a secret society for Cypriot cheese lovers. Or, as it's better known, ||the Hallouminati.||

A local Potter has been charged with murder after multiple victims were found in his oven. ||police believe he went on a kiln spree||

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/731805061080154122/782698152587165707/reverse-psychology-419118.jpg

What do you call a tree who know Kung fu? Spruce Lee!

What's the grossest rank in the US Navy?
Rear Admiral Lower Half.

i have a cow that has a green halter i call her moss cow

I had my leg X-rayed at my health check today - the doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'

I asked "inch high knees?"

He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高

What is Joe Biden's favorite movie? <:YouKnowTheThing:723005092764319776>

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Both of them get smashed and the giraffe falls over. The man gets up to leave and the bartender says, "Hey, you can't leave that laying there." The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe," and walks our the door.

The Thing: It was among us before Among Us

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent

I once tickled a man to death. I was charged with manslaughter.

What do you call a cow with no legs

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with 2 legs

Lean beef

What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence

Utter destructiooooooooon

Mood

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What is that?

At first I thought it was a car engine but now I have my doubts...

It’s a suit for a cat

<:What2:777241822930010132>

Its a intake manifold. Probably for a ls motor

Does it have something to do with starting an engine

yeah

won't start without it

also gets really dirty if you let oil leak, which is why it's in the dishwasher

so basically the joke is it's gonna start something, but it's gonna start a fight, instead of an engine

no, the joke is that when you try to clean that in the dishwasher, it'll make a mess because the dishwasher isn't made to clean off that much grease or carbon deposits. In short, it made a mess and the wife is pissed

and also because hubby put car parts before real chores