I'm in. I've got a lot of issues, and am making rounds in the different subs that offere assistance of any kind.

TLDR of my story

Please may I clarify, is this your issue or one you're posting for discussion?

Like, its similar or?

Cause trust me I hate social media... I guess Reddit is similar... But that's so...

I've been cheated on from someone I truly cared for. Not marriage, but it may as well have been

I think if a man and woman decide to end a marriage.. besides custody of kids and alimony after divorce, his issue is not enough support. No matter who is right or wrong, they take her side

Men take so long to get over a painful breakup, even if they have someone else the pain is still there

Women can rely on other people to help them

Men can't

I hope that all makes sense

Well, this is MY story, ongoing, and it's a daily struggle. Not only do I have to work on myself, work on the divorce, work, and also enjoy my time with the kids (which I do tremendously), I also have to be alone with my thoughts of self-doubt/worth and all the emotions that comes with.

I'm open for discussion, advice, direction.

I think my advice is that we should get more people involved from /r/divorcedmen so we can really get this going

I agree.

They seem very supportive and aggressively active when it comes to men's and father's rights

Would you be willing to post about the discord on the divorce forums you participate in? Your recommendation will have a lot more clout than mine could.

If you talk to the mods they may sticky it for you too

Absoloutely

I'm on a hell of a trip...and I hope in the wake, that someone can benefit from my experience

I'm currently at work, so I can only contribute little by little at the moment, but I'll be able to interact more later on

Thanks for doing this. Divorce is a key issue right now. Possibly the most widespread too.

It feels like the movement towards equality will gain footing on this issue, but all the groups are so disconnected, like cells

That's very true. And a lot of us are fighting at odds. This is really what the men are human site was meant to fix originally. I'm planning on expanding it into an entire community. Not only that, I'm working with the mods of the sub to make it (eventually) into a full backup of the sub itself that can act as a refuge of Reddit shuts us down

Early days though

I'm working on gathering information (experiences, data, cases, thoughts) and meeting with people who want to make a positive influence as well. Between publications, podcasts, online document resources... a hub could prove quite useful

I'm willing to install a forum with good spam protection, but the one I have in mind is outside my budget.

https://xenforo.com/purchase/

If we could do a funding drive on here, it would really help

$125 isn't that much if we all chip in.

Other than that, I was going to install Voats, but I can't work out how

It's a pain in the ass.

Let me see how much I have after Christmas. I'm willing to chip

If you make it a Facebook thing, I can share and promote that, too

A facebook thing?

Facebook allows people to show support for a cause and ask others to raise funds

Eeeh, I'm no good with facebook, lol

I don't see that avenume having much success for revenue, but it's an option

Glad this channel is here.

Worst part of this situation is when you lost your job because the woman and the woman refuses to work.

Anyone have any advice on how to protect myself in case she tries to accuse me of domestic violence? Like this video? http://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh1tBBqLvqA2uy4I59

GYOW, mostly.

Pence rule ought to help, but nothing is perfect.

Well, a body-cam would be pretty close but who's going to do that.

..

Pence rule is good enough mostly

Don't be alone together

I actually bought a cheap 'spy pen' thing to record while I'm in public if I put it in my pocket. Bloody thing doesn't work though

whats the pence rule?

I am thinking about a voice recorder. Is that not enough?

@asparkofpyrokravte

Pence rule is just don't be alone with a woman except for one's wife, although in this case that would apply to your wife too.

So you bring a witness to even a conversatino

so people grab friends for private conversations

and don't shut their office door

The same sort of principle is why many offices are built to be partially see-through today

@Men Are Human why xenforo, isn't mybb better and free

@asparkofpyrokravte I don't think pence rule applies here. I am in a pretty bad situation where I have no friends here and I am trying to have a conversation with my spouse when she comes back from overseas that I want to separate.

I don't want any accusations of DV if she does that.

If you are initiating divorce you are in a pretty unique situation. A voice recorder is a good idea, but ideally you'd have the conversation somewhere that isn't completely private.

Also check on the recording laws of your country, and make sure the thing works

initating separation

Ah, right

It isn't divorce yet

Im from SC so the grounds that I only have is 1 year separation

^ though even if it's illegal to record, chances are no one will know unless you have to use the recording, and its worth it to record it because you'll get a lot less trouble with that than a DV charge

my situation is kind of unique, fucked myself signing the affadvit of support.

That is a good point, but if that is the case and you have time to prepare you'd just have a witness instead and skip the illegal step

The voice recorder is if you have to do day-to-day stuff in the house when you can't get a witness

It's worth mentioning that having someone there at the time OR recording aren't going to stop past accusations of DV

that is very worth mentioning, yes.

jesus, I am out of it.

This situation is over my head

I'm sorry mate. Life's a bitch and then you die. But make the most of it for yourself ok

It isn't quite as bad as it seems

You probably do want to consult a lawyer before she knows you are going to separate

If your lawyer tells you to screw her over don't listen (though tbh, you should have pretty little opportunity for that)

Audio recording is indeed a great step

im speaking to one

If she doesn't know, most of the false accusations would probably be pretty easy to disprove

South Carolina is a one-party consent state, so you're good on that front

yeah, I don't need to let her know when I record.

for some reason, I feel like voice is weak source of evidence

Eh, it isn't going to catch some things

but

It will catch almost all relevant things

So long as you've got a mic that picks up lots of stuff

Any sound of someone hitting another will be caught

If you're speaking calmly the whole time

that'll be caught

if you're trying to diffuse that will be caught

if you object to her hitting you, it is going to be hella hard for her to claim that you were the one who actually hit her

Yeah, I am worried about when I leave the apt to get out of the situation, then she assaults herself then points the finger.

She still has to give a day and time

if your mic catches the sound of your car door closing

well, you weren't in the house

if she claims it happened in the morning, your mic should lend credibillity to your claim that nothing serious happened at that time

Let's be real mate, although false accusations do happen, you don't know your partner is gonna be the one to make them. Take the precautions you can absolutely, but dont stress too much about something that will probably never happen

Right

And that's something that I was thinking of asking