Discord ID: 520987662572584961

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2018-12-08 15:44:11 UTC

I'm in. I've got a lot of issues, and am making rounds in the different subs that offere assistance of any kind.

2018-12-08 16:47:15 UTC

TLDR of my story


2018-12-08 18:22:02 UTC

Please may I clarify, is this your issue or one you're posting for discussion?

2018-12-08 18:24:05 UTC

Like, its similar or?

2018-12-08 18:24:33 UTC

Cause trust me I hate social media... I guess Reddit is similar... But that's so...

2018-12-08 18:25:11 UTC

I've been cheated on from someone I truly cared for. Not marriage, but it may as well have been

2018-12-08 18:27:14 UTC

I think if a man and woman decide to end a marriage.. besides custody of kids and alimony after divorce, his issue is not enough support. No matter who is right or wrong, they take her side

2018-12-08 18:27:40 UTC

Men take so long to get over a painful breakup, even if they have someone else the pain is still there

2018-12-08 18:27:55 UTC

Women can rely on other people to help them

2018-12-08 18:27:59 UTC

Men can't

2018-12-08 18:28:42 UTC

I hope that all makes sense

2018-12-08 18:41:21 UTC

Well, this is MY story, ongoing, and it's a daily struggle. Not only do I have to work on myself, work on the divorce, work, and also enjoy my time with the kids (which I do tremendously), I also have to be alone with my thoughts of self-doubt/worth and all the emotions that comes with.

2018-12-08 18:41:30 UTC

I'm open for discussion, advice, direction.

2018-12-08 18:43:29 UTC

I think my advice is that we should get more people involved from /r/divorcedmen so we can really get this going

2018-12-08 18:43:55 UTC

I agree.

2018-12-08 18:44:24 UTC

They seem very supportive and aggressively active when it comes to men's and father's rights

2018-12-08 18:45:02 UTC

Would you be willing to post about the discord on the divorce forums you participate in? Your recommendation will have a lot more clout than mine could.

2018-12-08 18:45:29 UTC

If you talk to the mods they may sticky it for you too

2018-12-08 18:50:14 UTC


2018-12-08 18:50:30 UTC

I'm on a hell of a trip...and I hope in the wake, that someone can benefit from my experience

2018-12-08 18:51:13 UTC

I'm currently at work, so I can only contribute little by little at the moment, but I'll be able to interact more later on

2018-12-08 19:13:24 UTC

Thanks for doing this. Divorce is a key issue right now. Possibly the most widespread too.

2018-12-08 19:48:01 UTC

It feels like the movement towards equality will gain footing on this issue, but all the groups are so disconnected, like cells

2018-12-08 19:53:08 UTC

That's very true. And a lot of us are fighting at odds. This is really what the men are human site was meant to fix originally. I'm planning on expanding it into an entire community. Not only that, I'm working with the mods of the sub to make it (eventually) into a full backup of the sub itself that can act as a refuge of Reddit shuts us down

2018-12-08 19:53:23 UTC

Early days though

2018-12-08 20:10:37 UTC

I'm working on gathering information (experiences, data, cases, thoughts) and meeting with people who want to make a positive influence as well. Between publications, podcasts, online document resources... a hub could prove quite useful

2018-12-08 20:45:42 UTC

I'm willing to install a forum with good spam protection, but the one I have in mind is outside my budget.

2018-12-08 20:46:29 UTC

If we could do a funding drive on here, it would really help

2018-12-08 20:46:43 UTC

$125 isn't that much if we all chip in.

2018-12-08 20:47:04 UTC

Other than that, I was going to install Voats, but I can't work out how

2018-12-08 20:47:11 UTC

It's a pain in the ass.

2018-12-08 20:48:15 UTC

Let me see how much I have after Christmas. I'm willing to chip

2018-12-08 20:48:30 UTC

If you make it a Facebook thing, I can share and promote that, too

2018-12-09 08:58:44 UTC

A facebook thing?

2018-12-09 15:31:57 UTC

Facebook allows people to show support for a cause and ask others to raise funds

2018-12-09 16:23:08 UTC

Eeeh, I'm no good with facebook, lol

2018-12-09 16:42:20 UTC

I don't see that avenume having much success for revenue, but it's an option

2018-12-10 05:05:22 UTC

Glad this channel is here.

2018-12-10 05:07:51 UTC

Worst part of this situation is when you lost your job because the woman and the woman refuses to work.

2018-12-10 05:12:25 UTC

Anyone have any advice on how to protect myself in case she tries to accuse me of domestic violence? Like this video? http://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh1tBBqLvqA2uy4I59

2018-12-10 06:36:28 UTC

GYOW, mostly.

2018-12-10 06:37:06 UTC

Pence rule ought to help, but nothing is perfect.

2018-12-10 06:37:29 UTC

Well, a body-cam would be pretty close but who's going to do that.

2018-12-10 06:37:38 UTC


2018-12-10 06:37:42 UTC

Pence rule is good enough mostly

2018-12-10 06:38:19 UTC

Don't be alone together

2018-12-10 06:38:28 UTC

I actually bought a cheap 'spy pen' thing to record while I'm in public if I put it in my pocket. Bloody thing doesn't work though

2018-12-10 06:42:12 UTC

whats the pence rule?

2018-12-10 06:42:36 UTC

I am thinking about a voice recorder. Is that not enough?

2018-12-10 06:43:55 UTC
2018-12-10 06:46:31 UTC

Pence rule is just don't be alone with a woman except for one's wife, although in this case that would apply to your wife too.

2018-12-10 06:47:01 UTC

So you bring a witness to even a conversatino

2018-12-10 06:47:26 UTC

so people grab friends for private conversations

2018-12-10 06:47:40 UTC

and don't shut their office door

2018-12-10 06:48:10 UTC

The same sort of principle is why many offices are built to be partially see-through today

2018-12-10 06:48:28 UTC

@Men Are Human why xenforo, isn't mybb better and free

2018-12-10 06:49:50 UTC

@asparkofpyrokravte I don't think pence rule applies here. I am in a pretty bad situation where I have no friends here and I am trying to have a conversation with my spouse when she comes back from overseas that I want to separate.

2018-12-10 06:50:17 UTC

I don't want any accusations of DV if she does that.

2018-12-10 06:50:50 UTC

If you are initiating divorce you are in a pretty unique situation. A voice recorder is a good idea, but ideally you'd have the conversation somewhere that isn't completely private.

2018-12-10 06:51:04 UTC

Also check on the recording laws of your country, and make sure the thing works

2018-12-10 06:51:21 UTC

initating separation

2018-12-10 06:51:27 UTC

Ah, right

2018-12-10 06:51:31 UTC

It isn't divorce yet

2018-12-10 06:51:46 UTC

Im from SC so the grounds that I only have is 1 year separation

2018-12-10 06:52:02 UTC

^ though even if it's illegal to record, chances are no one will know unless you have to use the recording, and its worth it to record it because you'll get a lot less trouble with that than a DV charge

2018-12-10 06:52:33 UTC

my situation is kind of unique, fucked myself signing the affadvit of support.

2018-12-10 06:52:38 UTC

That is a good point, but if that is the case and you have time to prepare you'd just have a witness instead and skip the illegal step

2018-12-10 06:53:30 UTC

The voice recorder is if you have to do day-to-day stuff in the house when you can't get a witness

2018-12-10 06:53:35 UTC

It's worth mentioning that having someone there at the time OR recording aren't going to stop past accusations of DV

2018-12-10 06:53:57 UTC

that is very worth mentioning, yes.

2018-12-10 06:54:26 UTC

jesus, I am out of it.

2018-12-10 06:54:40 UTC

This situation is over my head

2018-12-10 06:55:09 UTC

I'm sorry mate. Life's a bitch and then you die. But make the most of it for yourself ok

2018-12-10 06:55:25 UTC

It isn't quite as bad as it seems

2018-12-10 06:55:40 UTC

You probably do want to consult a lawyer before she knows you are going to separate

2018-12-10 06:55:59 UTC

If your lawyer tells you to screw her over don't listen (though tbh, you should have pretty little opportunity for that)

2018-12-10 06:56:14 UTC

Audio recording is indeed a great step

2018-12-10 06:56:25 UTC

im speaking to one

2018-12-10 06:56:33 UTC

If she doesn't know, most of the false accusations would probably be pretty easy to disprove

2018-12-10 06:56:51 UTC

South Carolina is a one-party consent state, so you're good on that front

2018-12-10 06:57:13 UTC

yeah, I don't need to let her know when I record.

2018-12-10 06:57:44 UTC

for some reason, I feel like voice is weak source of evidence

2018-12-10 06:57:56 UTC

Eh, it isn't going to catch some things

2018-12-10 06:57:57 UTC


2018-12-10 06:58:06 UTC

It will catch almost all relevant things

2018-12-10 06:58:15 UTC

So long as you've got a mic that picks up lots of stuff

2018-12-10 06:58:29 UTC

Any sound of someone hitting another will be caught

2018-12-10 06:58:38 UTC

If you're speaking calmly the whole time

2018-12-10 06:58:40 UTC

that'll be caught

2018-12-10 06:58:52 UTC

if you're trying to diffuse that will be caught

2018-12-10 06:59:11 UTC

if you object to her hitting you, it is going to be hella hard for her to claim that you were the one who actually hit her

2018-12-10 07:00:00 UTC

Yeah, I am worried about when I leave the apt to get out of the situation, then she assaults herself then points the finger.

2018-12-10 07:00:11 UTC

She still has to give a day and time

2018-12-10 07:00:27 UTC

if your mic catches the sound of your car door closing

2018-12-10 07:00:34 UTC

well, you weren't in the house

2018-12-10 07:01:06 UTC

if she claims it happened in the morning, your mic should lend credibillity to your claim that nothing serious happened at that time

2018-12-10 07:01:39 UTC

Let's be real mate, although false accusations do happen, you don't know your partner is gonna be the one to make them. Take the precautions you can absolutely, but dont stress too much about something that will probably never happen

2018-12-10 07:01:48 UTC


2018-12-10 07:01:55 UTC

And that's something that I was thinking of asking

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