Oof, I’m very conflicted on that one. On one hand I remember getting spanked as a kid and there are few times I remember being that scared and upset as a youngin. I also never want to be that mad at my kid that I’d hit them.

So I hope having a stern presence and using a booming tone will be sufficient when it comes to that.

hmm

Yeah, I remember being on the receiving end a few times. Ideally I'd never have to use it? but I think it might have a time and place

but incredibly rare

I wouldn't say never though

Cause it does teach a lesson

Exactly, like that punishment stuck with me. But id want to save it as a last resort

I think alot of compliance can be achieved with how the mother acts

if she's playing along with the "You better listen to your father" thing

Discipline ought to be a team effort, one parent only isn't enough of shaming and directioning

Agreed. My mom and dad had times where they didn’t work together and that’s something I want to stress with my wife when the time comes

Discipline should never involve anger.

Anger by its nature is undisciplined.

Spanking has its place. I use it more as a tool when the kids are younger. And if you use that tool and others right as they get older spanking isn’t necessary

I use things like push ups all the way to writing essays. Many different circumstances call for different things.

I was never spanked, I was born in the 80s to very conservative parents; however mom was a nurse in the maternity ward at a hospital and was convinced that spanking was bad for child development.
Molyneux calls it “the bomb in the brain” because studies show spanking has irreversible effects on brain development, lowering IQ, increasing violence, and more.
https://youtu.be/sf7uq9NUOnY

I'd be interested to see the frequency in which it was used in those studies

because if it was alot, it's nearing the territory if similar effects with literal abuse

I was rarely spanked as a child,and only a fee times when smaller. Groundings worked better. I aslo used some spanking on my daughter when she was really little,but not as much the older she got,i used grounding and taking things away,like her computer or music and she knew she really messed up if it got to that. With the stepkids it was used a lil too,but more so the standing in the corner. But that also didn't last long,our involvement in raising them as their mother took and raised them far up north not long after we had the youngest. So I can honestly say more so from raising my own daughter then.

Hello all, my wife and I are expecting our first child in October. Does anyone have any suggested reading materials for expectant/1st time fathers?

Congratulations brother! I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’ve read a few, and the majority of them all do this same dumb thing; “hur dur hormonal wives and dirty diapers! Now you can’t watch football all day.” One book that I found that doesn’t do that and actually gives good advice is “idiots guide: pregnancy for dads”

Indeed, congrats mein freund!

Thank you both! and thanks for the suggestion @Grossly Incandescent

@martin Congratulations!

@martin do you know if it’s a boy or girl?

Anyone heard of “Love & Logic”? I’ve heard a lot of good things about it for a few years, but my wife and I just got the book a couple months ago.

So far it’s lived up to most of the hype, but it’s still early and I gotta finish the book. 😅

Can we get a quick rundown

@Grossly Incandescent we're gonna let it be a surprise

Exciting!

@Grossly Incandescent Sorry, were you talking to me? Yeah, I’ll try to summarize the methodology. It’s called “Love and Logic” but you could also call it “Empathy and Natural Consequences”, it’s just not as catchy. Basically, you make sure you administer all discipline with a healthy dose of empathy so you’re not the bad guy. And discipline should be natural consequences as much as possible.

https://www.loveandlogic.com

@celticflame thanks!

I’m sure everyone’s noticed this at least once, but what are your thoughts on this modern style of parenting where the kid whines and the parents just hand them a smartphone or tablet.

@Grossly Incandescent that is being grossly negligent. It will cause those kids many problems later in life

It makes me sad, these kids can’t even speak and they’re already being conditioned by too much screen time and instant gratification, all because the parents are lazy

When you reward whining, you get more whining.

Nice to see this new channel as I haven't visited this server in a while! We have been enjoying this new addition to our family!

@Volkmom congratulations on your new addition! So cute! Wish I had one that little still.

@Volkmom Congratulations! Absolutely adorable