I met her on a study abroad programme

She fell head over heals for me

And spent 24 hours a day cooking for, loving me, doing things for me

I always cancelled dates and neglected her

I realized i had fucked up in the last month or so but it was too late

We are still together but will break up when I return home

It wouldn't have worked out long term anyway because her parents were strict Muslims

But it could have been a better summer fling if i wasn't brainwashed

What were your feelings towards her?

Loved her to bits but hid it very
Well

it's a damn shame

there's a few elements of trp that I can confirm from personal experience are true

but most of it is bullshit

I don't think I'll ever recover from it to be honest

I feel the same way, man. Now about OCD.

Do you have compulsions or is it Purely Obsessional?

compulsion

always had OCD

used to spend hours doing compulsions

If I may ask, what compulsions?

I'm also generally obsessional

Only if you're comfortable sharing them

repeating the same word

tapping

typing and then deleting thing

*things

I see. Are you on medications/therapy?

neither

been on medication and therapy

but my OCD is pretty manageable now

mainly just Pure O these days

I have Pure O, and probably some mild compulsions, got diagnosed in 2016 after a panic attack. What I have found out is, that I hold emotions with a tight grip in my mind. I can't let them go. I associate negative emotions with pleasurous highs sometimes, like a sadist or masochist would.

Whenever I have a bad day, I start obsessing about things. About everything. I'm 20 and I've genetic balding. I keep obsessing about how I'll look and how I look right now. I've an autoimmune condition known as ankylosing spondylitis and I keep obsessing about that too. On a similar vein, trp thinking sometimes reassures me about my obsessions.

I take medications, and I converse with a guy who's pure O and also who's an author as well is very functional and whom I want to emulate. But sometimes the trp thoughts linger back and I go back to the same person I was on trp.

I have difficulties typing my thoughts, and English isn't my first or second language, so apologies.

Anxiety disorders are tough

Mainly because they fuck up your perception of reality

Definitely

Have you visited exredpill subreddit?

Yeah

Not much there