Message from @Deleted User
Discord ID: 453622538510139412
My brain needs serious fucking rewiring
It doesn't make sense if you think about it, but I know how I felt after being passed on and mistreated by people with whom I was good with. Trp made sense then.
@Deleted User what happened with the girl then?
I met her on a study abroad programme
She fell head over heals for me
And spent 24 hours a day cooking for, loving me, doing things for me
I always cancelled dates and neglected her
I realized i had fucked up in the last month or so but it was too late
We are still together but will break up when I return home
It wouldn't have worked out long term anyway because her parents were strict Muslims
But it could have been a better summer fling if i wasn't brainwashed
What were your feelings towards her?
Loved her to bits but hid it very
Well
it's a damn shame
there's a few elements of trp that I can confirm from personal experience are true
but most of it is bullshit
I don't think I'll ever recover from it to be honest
I feel the same way, man. Now about OCD.
Do you have compulsions or is it Purely Obsessional?
compulsion
used to spend hours doing compulsions
If I may ask, what compulsions?
I'm also generally obsessional
Only if you're comfortable sharing them
repeating the same word
tapping
typing and then deleting thing
*things
I see. Are you on medications/therapy?
neither
been on medication and therapy
but my OCD is pretty manageable now
mainly just Pure O these days
I have Pure O, and probably some mild compulsions, got diagnosed in 2016 after a panic attack. What I have found out is, that I hold emotions with a tight grip in my mind. I can't let them go. I associate negative emotions with pleasurous highs sometimes, like a sadist or masochist would.
Whenever I have a bad day, I start obsessing about things. About everything. I'm 20 and I've genetic balding. I keep obsessing about how I'll look and how I look right now. I've an autoimmune condition known as ankylosing spondylitis and I keep obsessing about that too. On a similar vein, trp thinking sometimes reassures me about my obsessions.
I take medications, and I converse with a guy who's pure O and also who's an author as well is very functional and whom I want to emulate. But sometimes the trp thoughts linger back and I go back to the same person I was on trp.
I have difficulties typing my thoughts, and English isn't my first or second language, so apologies.
Anxiety disorders are tough
Mainly because they fuck up your perception of reality
Definitely