A jail and a prison are basically the same thing,
But a jailer and a prisoner, are completely different.

You’ve probably walked past someone you’ve played video games with online before, and didn’t even know.

Your future wife is probably telling her boyfriend that they’ll be together forever.

No ruling British king has ever used the Internet.

If your over the age of 30, you were alive, before every single dog that is currently on earth.

Arms on chairs, are just like chairs for your arms.

If two mind readers are reading each other’s mind, whose mind are they actually reading?

The brain is the only organ, that actually knows it’s an organ. And on top of that, it named itself.

For a very brief second, every 19 year old, is the oldest teenager in the world.

There’s only 2 days in your entire life that aren’t 24 hours long. The day your born, and the day you die.

In 500 years, a young archeologist is going to find someone’s preserved sketchbook with crazy monsters, Dark horror beings, and evil Garfield sketches and spend his whole career trying to prove these things existence.

Buying erasers is literally paying for your mistakes.

A “lap” is a non-existent part of the body that imaginably exists only when you are sitting.

If a dog could use a computer, he’d likely have his owner as his desktop background.

You don’t realize how many women dye their hair blonde till you think about how many men you know with blonde hair.

People say I’m addicted to brake fluid but I can stop anytime I want.

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

My wife thinks I’m too nosey. At least, that what she scribbles in her diary.

Since we use chemicals to kill wasps. And wasps use use chemicals to string us. We are at constant chemical warfare with wasps.

Well geezus

I always keep a list on my phone. Never know when I’m gonna need one.

how do you exercise a dog with no legs? take him for a drag.

*sigh* what a drag... 😉

which planet has a father?

the _sun_

Bruh

Bruh

<:FeelsVargMan:726877394991972382>

@PatriotSaint posted this in memes. Fml I almost died laughing

Haha nice

😁

*Sigh*

Ehh, looks to be 3, judging by the treads

I’ve been staring at that table for 3 hours now...I’m not even tired! 😉

<a:SOBruh:706943915986518066>

Backwards it read you unless sense no makes text this

Imagine eating a clock, it would be so time consuming.

Why isn't my I-phone a vegetarian?


||Because it's made by Apple||

Lmfao.

Busted. 😂😂😂

g-Get it? Bus-ted?



I’ll see myself out...

H U H

You hear the one about the man who invented the vacuum cleaner? Everyone told him his invention sucked.

Speaking of vacuums, I sold mine recently. It was just gathering dust.

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder

N o

O...m...g... I love this channel this is amazing!!!!!😂😂

@LiterallyRonPaul ........

My kids asked me if I had a favorite child,i told them that I hated each of them equally.

Cps

If you're lagging bad in the goolag, does it become the god lag?

I heard there was a nasty fight at the seafood place; battered fish were *everywhere*.

Carburetors are the kinkiest part on a car. They have to be choked first before they are turned on.

What do you call a secretive wasp who works for the soviet military police? A cagey KGB bee

What's the difference between a basketball and a football? One is orange

What is something yellow and you shouldn't drink? A school bus

When your computer gets the chromavirus

What's Black and white all over? A baby in a buket of black paint

What if the baby's black

a baby in a bucket of white paint

The origami finals are airing soon. You can watch it on paper view.

What kind of couch doesn't like to commit?

A pull-out couch...

❤️ dad jokes

🤦‍♂️

I live for all the stupid jokes in this channel

What's yellow and something you shouldn't drink? A school bus

Bruh

I guess yall have kids since you make these jokes

I wanted to mkae a joke but it only works when you are speaking it

whats white and black, but read all over? A newspaper

but when speaking it it makes it sound like read is red

Bruh

🤦‍♂️

I guess they all have kids lol

No kids, but I'm an adult kid...

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

A programmer's wife asks him to go shopping.
"Go to the store and buy 2 loaves of bread; if they have eggs, buy 12."
The programmer gets to the store and asks, "Do you have any eggs?"
"We do."
"Then give me 12 loaves of bread."

<:emoji_9:723005092764319776>

If the period after bread was a semicolon, the joke would make even more sense <:KEK:726877368601411624>

> No kids, but I'm an adult kid...
@Calliope
Good to be honest i guess...

No offence

@AnonRed Just realized that even in my _jokes_ about programming I still forget that fucking semicolon

Art imitates life I suppose

What’s gray and wil kill you instantly when it hits you?
||A fighter jet||

A grey coated car? @JJ04

depends

A grey coated train ?

Multiple meanings

I guess lol

What’s green tho and hits and you dead?