Wiped my arse with mcdonalds napkins

undeniably based

absplutely redpilled

Craziest thing I've done is.... asked a friend to call me a cab?

I've walked home naked off it before

I fingerbanged a 12 year old when I was blackout drunk

wooooooo

No homo

Yaas jim

you waj

@Octavia yes

@GUEVARA 神 what

All I had on was shoes

Tmw I can’t drink for medical reasons

You heard me @SYN

Feelsbadman

See you can't be a functioning alcoholic like I am if you're a crazy drunk

I called my mom a hoe when I was drunk, she called me a cunt cus she was drunk too

So it's all cool

@GUEVARA 神 mate, how

I was at a party getting raided in college when I was really drunk and they hushed us into the basement and I could hear the cops upstairs, my friend and I just looked at each other and agreed we were getting busted here so he picked up a chair and tossed it through the window and we bolted. Ahh the good times in college

Fingerbanging a 12 year old. What

Lol

How could I pretend to be sober at work if I was a crazy drunk? Wouldn't work.

Issa joke

@Octavia i don't mean to shit the bed but sometimes good old uncle jack is driving the meat suit and i don't have a choice

Ah, I've been at raided parties before Oct. Legged it too

dumb joke, fucking hunchbrain

^

Also as a teenager I almost got an asbo

yeah jim there is no way the house owners aren't gonna give you up to get out of trouble

I don't go to parties, fuck that

asbo?

Was 1 incident away

I've been in cells more than I can count jim

Been up in court

When I was younger

Why would I want to drink with degenerates who won't go anywhere in life?

Whatcha do

Anti-social behavioural order

i know a dude who was crying while getting arrested and i was talking to the cops, utterly shitfaced, about how its sad that some kids cant hold their drink