Message from @Corinthian
Discord ID: 541159567044771841
ever miss anybody real bad, even if they were a shitty human being
asking for a friend.
I miss a lot of people
I miss how I used to be
Here's a more recent one
>be driving back home from walm
>reach train tracks
>train warning lights start up
>at a point where if i hit the breaks the car will stop on track
>if i hit breaks I'll either get hit by train or pull a quick ass reverse and risk hitting any car behind me
>no choice but to run the track as train is far enough away to where if i speed up I'll make it
>make it over
>still not the near deatj experience needed to give me a new will to live
I don't really have a will to live, but I know I probably won't be able to die anytime soon so I just accept it
can't wait until i graduate school and get a super shitty final exam result so i have an excuse to jump off a building
The problem with the fact that I'm gifted (the government's cuck buzzword for the smart kids) is the fact that I realised that life would be shit when I was like 6
There was a friend of my good friend(since I was 13), this guy killed himself two years ago.
And I've never seen my friend being like that
He was destroyed. Fell into severe depression.
And I used to tell him about how I want to kill myself
As a joke
I never say that to him now, and from the time to time, when I feel like I don't deserve everything that is given to me or some bullshit like that
I remember the conversation with him
How it took 3 days to find the guys body
And that 3 days were a living nightmare for him
And I just keep thinking
I can't do that to people I love
We're friend since I was 13, we shared the same dream. He always tell me how lucky he is for have a friend like me
And I feel the same, sometimes I don't deserve him as a friend
So my point is
Later I found out many people feels the same
They don't really have a interest in life or at least they just say that
But they can't hurt other people by choosing selfish way out
i completely understand that
i remember seeing something how like suicide is like an IED, it completely destroys the ones closest to you (e.g. close friends, family)
committing suicide doesn't get rid of the pain, it just transfers it to other people
Yeah
So I can't kill meself not because life's worth living
But life is about people you love and care
That was the hippest thing I ever wrote in foriegn language
Lmfao
You sound like Dame Pesos which makes you a little hard to take seriously but you're right
Yeah don't take me seriously I'm full of shit
Heh
Maybe in korean I can pull off some better shit idk
I think my problem is that I surround myself with people with the same self destructive tendencies that I have
My closest friend is borderline alcoholic and my second closest isnt far behind
My old friends all turn out to be massive drug addicts and I seem to be the only person I know that hasn't turned to substance abuse