Message from @Matthew
Discord ID: 381398393668239360
took me 3 years for her to let me put the leash on, my friend
stockholm syndrome takes time
Codependancy is a hell of a drug
did you two meet in grade school or something
yes
5th grade, became a couple in 8th, moved in directly after HS graduation
<:alismirk:230784726615588865>
>Wedding
ha
you should have a chinkshit themed wedding
this
H-ha
I guarantee this one unlocks anal
tfw not having a pretentious self indulging millennial themed wedding in the foreseeable future
I'm way ahead of you niggas
i need something about meeeeeeeee
"way ahead" being 2 days ahead
you know what would be crazy
finishing your thought
what if you got your girl pregnant and then had the doctor who is mad talented put like a wedding ring or something saying will you marry me in an a soundagram
Like, abort the baby and scramble its guts to spell it?
yeah
and have the ring among the viscera?
I like where this is going
This is clearly a outdoors / survival item
what if you need to deliver a baby innawoods?
it will be if the wife catches it in the mail before you do
Heh
True
tfw gf is on the patch so I have evidence at all times that she's not gonna pull a fast one on me and lock me in with a babby
*Euphoric*
But just in case, are there any really, really deathtrap-tier baby toys on ali?
theres probably some chink playdough with lead in it
Just get a mouse trap (with hardened steel teeth) and a cute figurine and say the packaging got lost
Alas, I'm not third world enough to be washing my hypothetical baby in a fuckin' bucket