Message from @Matthew
Discord ID: 381398748372402176
Codependancy is a hell of a drug
did you two meet in grade school or something
yes
5th grade, became a couple in 8th, moved in directly after HS graduation
<:alismirk:230784726615588865>
>Wedding
ha
you should have a chinkshit themed wedding
this
H-ha
I guarantee this one unlocks anal
tfw not having a pretentious self indulging millennial themed wedding in the foreseeable future
I'm way ahead of you niggas
i need something about meeeeeeeee
"way ahead" being 2 days ahead
Have you ever loved a girl with exactly $2.79 worth of devotion, but only with free shipping?
you know what would be crazy
what if you got your girl pregnant and then had the doctor who is mad talented put like a wedding ring or something saying will you marry me in an a soundagram
Like, abort the baby and scramble its guts to spell it?
yeah
and have the ring among the viscera?
I like where this is going
This is clearly a outdoors / survival item
what if you need to deliver a baby innawoods?
it will be if the wife catches it in the mail before you do
Heh
True
tfw gf is on the patch so I have evidence at all times that she's not gonna pull a fast one on me and lock me in with a babby
*Euphoric*
But just in case, are there any really, really deathtrap-tier baby toys on ali?
theres probably some chink playdough with lead in it
Just get a mouse trap (with hardened steel teeth) and a cute figurine and say the packaging got lost
Alas, I'm not third world enough to be washing my hypothetical baby in a fuckin' bucket
god ol' clive
I DO also remember a deathtrap showerhead he reviewed as well, that could work.