I don't think it is my personality. It is my charisma that can be smooth or sharp.

If someone messes with me or had gotten me aggravated, I can come off pretty standoffish. I don't intend to be mean but try to have a meaningful argument. But I see what he means. I used to get hurt alot by these beta males: physical abuse, manipulated, etc. So I thought having a stiffer voice and a backbone would protect me.

I guess that is why I would do fine in the military and I guess that is why I preferred to not hang out with other people. I got a friend frustrated at me because I told him what the role of a father should be and he disagreed.

So I just need to take it easy and listen alot more and stop getting so defensive.

Hmm I wonder if that makes me overbearing as well?

I just don't see that actually fitting the definition, you just sound either assertive, or assertive boardering aggressive

I'm assertive myself, so I've had plenty of rl or online situations where people thought I was being aggressive, saying something too sternly, cold, angry or upset. It rarely ever is the case though

Being assertive can deff cost you friends at times as well.

Men that can't overpower a woman's assertiveness is a beta male. lol So I'd say not to worry

Like come on, truly assertive or aggressive men shouldn't have too much problems taming an assertive woman

HAHA

I like the last line

Are yall both single?

or married?

Single

@csquare

@Szayel's Pooppion I have been tame most of my life until I was getting screwed over. I had to learn to be defensive for my sake. And all of this happened before coming to Christ.

Now coming to this realization and asking for forgiveness, I see now that my sharpness is really anger. I hope that I will be able to overcome that.

Yes I know what you mean there. Before I woke up I was an angry girl, being defensive was also how I had to learn to live

After being woke I saw where I had to draw the line. For instance now that I'm christian I try my hardest not to lose my temper with people anymore like when I was young. It's all about self improvement now & unlearning the things we had to unfortunately learn in our environments

Agreed.

That said we can't undo everything in our conditioning. I'll always be assertive and stand up for what's right. But at least now that's more polished so that I'm not just coming off as only being aggressive

@csquare In a relationship

he's an alpha

I can deff vouch that his assertiveness makes my assertiveness look tiny.

@Szayel's Pooppion That's good. Is he a Christian?

yep (:

I think meeting him helped guide me to the true faith as well

sorry ppl keep walking up to me and talking IRL, I was wondering : when one is in an argument with an assertive woman - why do they always say LET ME TALK

@csquare Simply put: defensive behavior.

My wife doesnt do that. Just the ones before her

Think of a bull. When it sees red, it goes crazy. It will keep charging until it doesn't see anymore red regardless of the environment.

Oh ya, is that what you mean by assertive or is that something else?

I don't think I do that tbh lol

hha that is what I am asking poop

Well you have a good, submissive, Godly woman.

Like assertive is different than just aggressive

so I don't mean to confuse that

ya she good gal

Assertive is borderline aggressive

I think it can be