I'm busy calling back these scammers.

I love picking up calls from telemarketers

Fairly certain they're all Paki and with enough knowledge of the U.S. phone system to be able to use dead Washington D.C. numbers.

Pretending to be the fucking feds.

lol

To a fed.

You're a fed?

They've started calling me from local numbers lately, really annoying

I work for the federal government.

cool

:3 Semantics are fun.

what part

DoD.

The federal part

Can you get me tax stamps?

nice

No.

Well what use are you then jeez

Making scammers shit their pants.

Pray that you get to see mattis one day

I do, every single day.

I swear the man is the reincarnation of Patton.

Lucky

No, I pray that I do.

I wish I really did see him every day.

Gimme some fucked up stuff to say.

Uh

Um

Er

If they're smart, they'll have disconnected the phone for good.

That should about cover it

But they're scammers, so instantly right down there with grab-asstic pieces of amphibian filth.

I was going to tell them to put "the bitch" on the phone. She was the one that tried to threaten me by telling me my name and an address I had about ten years ago.

They claimed it was my current address lol.

It was just the address I had when I first got the phone number, and I just kept transferring the number without changing the address.

The fuck kind of scam are they trying to run?

A "student loan" scam. Something about $9000 of federal aid.

And they tried to claim that they were going to send it through fucking Wal-Mart.

Through a fucking moneygram.

Wtf

Immediate red flags; the gubmint don't do it like that.