@Got it memorized? I wank a lot am I next?

Prolly.

Uh oh

You kill about 6 million sperm each time you wank.

So you have like a holocaust in your pants.

I accept Jesus as my lord and saviour

Too late.

Jesus is dead.

@Dillon hm.... used to know the answer, took 4 years theology in high school... but pretty sure its considered a sin in all circumstances

Ben Shapiro killed him.

Fuck

His wife was a doctor.

But she was too late.

Shit

don't worry dillon, if you donate to my patreon, I can still save your soul tho

That's how the Church used to do it.

but if I'm a furry now, doesn't that mean I automatically go to hell?

Yes

Yes, but you don't work for Buzzfeed so which one will it be?

le epic XVII century church

@Got it memorized? what if every time I masturbate it’s an accident

wait

10 5 2

17

is that 17th century?

Funny story, me and my friends started a cult/spoof religion at our catholic high school called the Bank of God, and money/donations to use was how you got your sin removed. Santa was satan..... we had a website, a weekly publication, and ~50 kids and 8 teachers in on it. We got shut down tho : (

it's 800 years old ...

so ...

wait, that doesn't sound right

13th century no?

You had the II after the V?

i forget

@Got it memorized? scamming people is the most religious thing you could do

@Got it memorized? censorship!

@Got it memorized? reeeee infringement

@Dillon technically I think intent/knowledge is critical to the criteria of it being a sin, so maybe technically somehow if a person accidently discovered masturbation alone?

It was a fun time then in high school.... but a idiot kid ended up ratting us out

we even got our theology professor in on it

If he didn't know of PornHub before he opened the tab it's fine.

I think they had to change it though because of the whole inuit story where a missionary told them they must join under the lord or be sent to damnation. To which he replied:
"If I didn't know the lord existed, would I have gone to hell?"
"No"
"Then why did you tell me?"

There’s always a layer of atoms on every surface and thing so technically I’ve never even touched my penis