Message from @this
Discord ID: 779806624125943841
Ive never seen a truer statement
Why don't crabs give to charity? ||Because they're shellfish.||
Why do melons have weddings? ||Because they cantaloupe||
```I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there```
```We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage```
What starts with an “O” and ends with “nions” and sometimes make you cry? ||Opinions||
https://discord.com/channels/707691030748594288/728498363347107891/779525747332218880
Heard someone tell of someone who did an even better version of this. I forget the reason, but quite a few people would send them food to eat so they didn't have to make it themselves. Sometimes though they would get some food that was let's say... less than desirable, but didn't want to *not* eat it in case they were asked if they liked it. So they came up with a plan. They made a dump pit, named it The Spot, and would dump any food they didn't like there. That way, when they were asked how they liked it, they could say "oh it hit the spot!" <:KEK:726877368601411624> <:KEK:726877368601411624>
``My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...``
``My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."``
"The dad flows strong in this one"
What do you call a woman with one leg? ||Eileen||
What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? ||Irene||
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? ||Bob||
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of your door? ||Matt||
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the wall? ||Art||
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? ||Russell||
what do you call a cow with two legs? ||lean beef||
what do you call a cow with no legs? ||ground beef||
what do you call a cow with one leg? ||steak||
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? ||a brazilian||
Coke = a girl, Guy = Biden
^
What do you call a pig with no legs? ||ground hog||
What do you call a cow with no legs? ||Ground beef||
What do you call a man with an irate cat on his head? Claude
I honestly don't know how devout Muslims can follow all the rules of the Qur'an. The one in our corner shop can't even follow the rule of 'Multi-pack: not to be sold separately.'
Did you guys hear about the marriage of two antennas? The wedding was terrible but the reception was great.
```I might make my future daughter Nokia... It means indestructible```
I used to be in a band called “the hinges”. We wasn’t any good but we did support the doors.
I was feeling miserable at work, I had to clean up the work surfaces with bleach when I spilt some on my Arab co-worker... I coulnt help but laugh.
It really lightened Mahmood.
Sounds like they were 'screwed' from the possible 'framing'. I'm surprised they didn't become 'Unhinged'. I'm glad they got a handle on it, and learned to swing freely. It would have been a Door-Stopper otherwise.
Sounds like it was an open and close joint operation.
My brother made up this ingenious one: What do you call a cow with no legs? || floating beef||
I don't get the fraction picture.
Doctor Suess.
One fifth, two fifth. Red fifth, blue fifth.
What do you call a judge with no thumbs ?
Justice fingers
Lol
How do you know your flight is leaving in exactly 6 hours?
||your dad just got to the airport||