An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.

That Christmas present joke was too good

Bruh

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth ||Now when I speak, I have a weird Axe scent||

To the Scumbag that stole 300 cans of RedBull from my shop,I don't know how you can sleep at night.

The Russian scientist whom found the cure for the common cold has died.|| RIP Benylin Forchestikov||

Lmao

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
Because he was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree
Monkey See Monkey Do

My wife was reading one of her magazines and suddenly asked me "What's nasal sex?" ||"Fuck knows, " I replied.||

I asked my friend if I would get arrested with throwing sodium chloride in someones eyes, he said “yes,thats assault” I know its a salt but would i get arrested

*I should mute this channel.*

Meanwhile in Canada, a seal walks into a club

Is that a feminist joke or the animal cuz I respect one way more than the other

It’s a joke about the stereotype of Canadians clubbing seals

Never heard of it anyways it's 3:30 in the morning I'm out

Gn

Yeet

Anywho

My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side, ||so I crashed the car.|| Then when she asked what was wrong, ||I told her “nothing”||

If Pizaa was wood fired, how is it gonna get a job?

............

Even though I'm bald, I still have my favorite comb.
||I just can't part with it.||

I'm a member of a secret society for Cypriot cheese lovers. Or, as it's better known, ||the Hallouminati.||

A local Potter has been charged with murder after multiple victims were found in his oven. ||police believe he went on a kiln spree||

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/731805061080154122/782698152587165707/reverse-psychology-419118.jpg

What do you call a tree who know Kung fu? Spruce Lee!

What's the grossest rank in the US Navy?
Rear Admiral Lower Half.

i have a cow that has a green halter i call her moss cow

I had my leg X-rayed at my health check today - the doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'

I asked "inch high knees?"

He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高

What is Joe Biden's favorite movie? <:YouKnowTheThing:723005092764319776>

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Both of them get smashed and the giraffe falls over. The man gets up to leave and the bartender says, "Hey, you can't leave that laying there." The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe," and walks our the door.

The Thing: It was among us before Among Us

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke? When it becomes apparent

I once tickled a man to death. I was charged with manslaughter.