Higura
Discord ID: 80999024357801984
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Harrier > Bombers
Poetry
Drumpf kills brown children, Ree!!
>I wish it was 1993 again
>>202812848
You woke up 1993 but have no memory of future so you redo all your actions and can't change anything.
That's some grimdark 12 monkeys shit
Time travel is depressing as shit.
But thankfully it's more or less never going to happen
Where the heck is John Titor when we need him
>TFW by warning us of the future, divergence ended up putting us on a different outcome than his own world
I tossed a documentary about him over in <#513714497438089246>
This poor fuckin cat. Just keep taking pictures, jackass. Don't get rid of the possum or anything
The mods in here are pretty okay so far.
top ten anime plot twists
here's some cute gay shit
Here's a Capybara
I don't want Jamal's left over roast beef. :(
How much money would it cost
This is a fair deal
Time for bane posting
>when you'd have to gas people of every hour of every day for 20 years straight but do it in a couple with limited resources
Is Mason the same ancestor of the guy from Red Faction
is that the crazy vsauce guy
Damn that one hurts
kek
Is it 2012 again
WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME
TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS
Anyway, yeah for today I'll probably attempt to sleep with 450. Made sure I didn't put any caffeine in my system since lunchtime. If I still have difficulty sleeping, I'll add a single 50mg but not any further. I imagine if I drink a reasonable amount of water with it, it'll help the toxic effects to dissipate more evenly through my system; as I usually just pop the drugs with a sip and call it good.
I'll let ya'll know how it goes.
Fuck
Where am I going to chat now
I ain't going back to skype
Oh okay, so update on my sleep bullshit.
Settled on a dosage of 400mg before bed. Less than I had previously settled on, but I drank a pretty hefty amount of water with it. Took me a little bit to fall asleep, but only managed very beinign hallucinations as compared to usual, but the inclusion of just drinking a bunch of liquid actually managed to cause me to pass out. Only woke up twice during sleep.
It's also definitely easier to deal with now that I know the exact source of my visual and audio hallucinations. I mean, it will hopefully go away, but the range of shit I see lately is crazy diverse.
Through dealing with this sort of shit, I'm even more so convinced that people who think they see ghosts and monsters, it is just a product of their mind.
At least in my experiences, I've seen at least 5 distinct 'entities'.
A patchy and hazy dogman sort of fucker who looks like that /x/ post with the dude who gets a dog muzzle sewn on to his face and just watches me when I'm not looking. Interestingly enough, while it's a non-coporeal hazy mix of indistinct shadow, it does have incredibly vivid and reflective eyes.
A wriggling Mass of tentacles that try to creep around from behind my PC monitors when I'm not focusing on the space behind my PC. It's like.. wiggling little whisps of worms, but if I attempt to focus or look at it directly, it vanishes.
There is also a frequent critter that at least appears to be crawling up my leg or squirming across my lap. Like a fat potato sized bug. A hard carapaceous shell shaped like a pinecone. This one is easier to manage because a simple wave of my hand through the imagry makes it disappear, I addition to trying bring visual focus on it.
The only one I have actual trouble with, where as the others are at least indistinct and largely formless, this figured is a solid black shape. I guess a good example of appearance would be that nigga babadook. Except entirely black, like a thick shadow. This one only bothers me because it only occurs when I'm waking in the middle of sleep due to feeling like I'm being watched. It's also the only one that has associated audio hallucinations with. Like a drowned out muddled whispering of at least 2-3 voices coming from the thing.
Usually doesn't appear if I leave a light on somewhere.
And finally, I tend to have a peripheral vision of a TV set inlaid my immediate wall to my right when not focused. It's ... Amusing, I guess?
Thankfully I don't actually see any of this shit if there's no drugs in my system, so I can imagine it'll stop if I can get it under control.
Most of this shit would have probably be better for <#462005526021013505>
@KhromosomeKing
Nah it's fine. I don't know about schizophrenia, I don't have any living relatives, and my mom and grandpa were both pretty crazy to begin with.
I had worried about it being schizophrenia, as the symptoms have been more pronounced lately. But as I also deal with stress and depression and shit, and already habitually take sleeping medication, I didn't initially see the correlation between the medicine being the source of hallucinations. I don't have any serious mental problems when not under it's effects, but because I'd spend most of my time at home asleep, I was almost always half-asleep on meds when awake.
So I'm at least trying to make a concerted effort to cut it out as I am super dependant on the shit
Thank you for the concern either way. I do plan on visiting the doctors once iv managed to lower my dph necessity to a manageable level. I am thankfully confident in my regular mental capabilities, and am reasonably confident that it's all a result of my unchecked drug abuse.
It's likely a compounded effect due to additional stress or trauma that allows such hallucinations to manifest so easily while under a thick cloud of the drug.
I'll be posting a story in /x/ in a couple days at the earliest, detailing my involvement with a couple other anon's and our interactions with a serial killers. My paranoia surrounding that is always kind of lurking like a shadow.
But yeah, I am going to try to get myself to a manageable state and then start seeing a doctor/psychiatrist regularly, just because I already deal with some heavy shit due to stress with my family all being deaded and me being an autistic fuck who can't socialize proper.
In any case, I appreciate the concern
Me irl / me on ffxiv
Please kill me
<:HeH:463760930153693184>
Fucking catgirls/catboytraps are some super degenerate shit. I worry I might be worse than Yako
Lmao, no. I'm not that much of a degenerate. I'm incredibly introverted and rarely do anything IRL with people. I engage in some pretty degenerate RP and shit on FFXIV, but my character isnt a trap. BBC niggers need not try to 'muh dick' my cat.
Sorry am on the road and will be home and able to reply in full soon
In my personal experiences, I am someone who more often than not just doesn't mind just watching stuff, playing Vidya or reading. Usually content to be alone and left to my own devices. I get uncomfortable and am usually not great in social situations. This makes me feel tired, or makes me worry, which ends up being a slightly more exhaustive experience than were I just in my comfort zone.
As a kid, it was only me and my grandpa, and no one else for miles around. I had the false perception of the outside world, as depicted through his teachings that the world was still as it was in the 70s
When I was forced to live with my mom, and she moved us right into a shitty nigger community, it made me feel even more withdrawn from the world than I had before upon the realization that the world was nowhere near as idyllic as I was lead to believe
It's why I was drawn to the internet, where I didn't have to physically confront the harsh realities of the world. And took more to technology and solitary activities.
I perform well in rural and forested regions, but cities and towns I am not so great with.
Online, I have no problem chatting or voice chatting, since it's only a simulation of extroverted activity
Plus most anons are easy to get along with just because of similar mindsets
Tl;Dr I'm a faggot who hates the planet
Yeah. I'm pretty aware that even if I can reduce the medicine dosage and if I am even able to give it up completely, it might still have long term damages, really heavy unforseen consequences that I am probably not even aware of.
It's entirely my own fault for attempting to mitigate my percieved suffering with my own fixes, when I honestly should have just left it to a professional.
Yeah. I was just shitposting tbh
There is plenty of great shit out there
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