Most of this shit would have probably be better for <#462005526021013505>

@Higura
Dang man, that seems fucked
If you don't mind me asking, do you have some form of schizophrenia? Apologies in advance if that's an insensitive question to ask of someone

@KhromosomeKing
Nah it's fine. I don't know about schizophrenia, I don't have any living relatives, and my mom and grandpa were both pretty crazy to begin with.

I had worried about it being schizophrenia, as the symptoms have been more pronounced lately. But as I also deal with stress and depression and shit, and already habitually take sleeping medication, I didn't initially see the correlation between the medicine being the source of hallucinations. I don't have any serious mental problems when not under it's effects, but because I'd spend most of my time at home asleep, I was almost always half-asleep on meds when awake.

So I'm at least trying to make a concerted effort to cut it out as I am super dependant on the shit

@Higura
I recommend visiting the psychiatrist and checking out there regularly if necessary, (marked the upcoming part as a spoiler since it might be disturbing or make you doubt yourself, and I don't intend to cause that) ||and also there's a man with what I assume is severe paranoid schizophrenia in my village whose relatives probably ignored all of the early signs and it's now progressed to him believing that he can talk to God and that all large modern denominations of Christianity are set up by the Jews to trick and control the religious population into becoming slaves of Satan, he's openly hostile towards anyone who disagrees with that notion, and I believe he could've had it better if his relatives went with him to the doctor sooner,|| so if you think your condition is getting worse, you should definetely get it checked out
As a reassurance (hope it isn't shitty), don't get freaked out just because of some stupid Discord user's words, you probably don't have schizophrenia, and even if you do, it's manageable and you can still live a good life if you keep it under control
In any case, I wish you good health, stay safe and don't get anxious over my (most likely incorrect) assumptions

Thank you for the concern either way. I do plan on visiting the doctors once iv managed to lower my dph necessity to a manageable level. I am thankfully confident in my regular mental capabilities, and am reasonably confident that it's all a result of my unchecked drug abuse.

It's likely a compounded effect due to additional stress or trauma that allows such hallucinations to manifest so easily while under a thick cloud of the drug.

I'll be posting a story in /x/ in a couple days at the earliest, detailing my involvement with a couple other anon's and our interactions with a serial killers. My paranoia surrounding that is always kind of lurking like a shadow.

But yeah, I am going to try to get myself to a manageable state and then start seeing a doctor/psychiatrist regularly, just because I already deal with some heavy shit due to stress with my family all being deaded and me being an autistic fuck who can't socialize proper.

In any case, I appreciate the concern

Good to hear, best of luck to you

@Higura i'll get serious with you my dude

i have a twin sister, and she has ocd, and heavy depression

drinks all kinds of medication

but tries to live a normal life

she is one of those crazy leftists sjw's 'btw

and like, because of some things that happened in the lest few weeks

she is now on anti psycothics as well

well all i can say to you, is get help soon

it does look like it's the medication

but 3 years under it can fuck you up

as i'm pretty sure her problem was also the medication.

Yeah. I'm pretty aware that even if I can reduce the medicine dosage and if I am even able to give it up completely, it might still have long term damages, really heavy unforseen consequences that I am probably not even aware of.

It's entirely my own fault for attempting to mitigate my percieved suffering with my own fixes, when I honestly should have just left it to a professional.

what happened?

why did you try that in the first place?

@Higura

I've only had two family members in my life. My grandpa, who passed away five years, and my mother, who passed away three years ago. I had no other living relatives.

I was such an autistic shit in highschool that I never made friends, and ended up working a dead end job managing a McDonalds. What with the stress of working a constant six day (usually 56 hour) work week, the combined loss of my grandpa and then mom, I ended up just starting to take meds for sleep due to having trouble with everything going on.

The medicine and my unhealthy 12000 hours on FFXIV are entirely products of deaths in the family and such miserable working conditions.

It's never great when you end up in a situation that you feel hopeless in. No one to rely on to help cover bills, working so much just to barely get by.

I can completely understand what drives people to seek harder drugs due to hardships. Thankfully, I am never going to try anything like heroine or cocaine or anything. I am not that stupid.

@Tersheus

damn

i get it

how are things going, have you changed jobs?

Yeah, I work with the city at a shipping logistics facility in another state

Hurricane Harvey trashed my place prior, and some internet friends let me stay with them

It at least gave me a chance to leave that dead end job

Apparently "my house is underwater" isn't a good reason to call into work if you work for McDonald's

So I told them to go fuck themselves

done good

also

have you watched a video called The PAct, from keques channel?

Which one was the pact? I've seen all of his episodes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ4gWmvKYP8

this

this dude's story is real