I wouldn't call it merciful... Not as bad as some perhaps, but any alimony is pretty horrible imo

@asparkofpyrokravte Appreciate the resource, I'll be sure to give them a call tomorrow. The only thing I am worried about is the maybe pregnancy, finances, and DV. Maybe revenge to my career.

I think I would be ok with 1 year. Im planning on deploying overseas after the divorce is finalized.

Eh, I don't think there are many good justifications for alimony (I do think there are some), but since there are a lot of 1-5 year marriages, having the rule being half limits liability one heck of a lot compared to what it could be

I hope you stay safe, can be dangerous deploying to say, the middle east

@InsaneCaterpilla better than where I am now.

I kinda assumed he wasn't deploying if he needed the clearance

that was perhaps a mistake

All kinds of positions overseas. Could be military police even

@asparkofpyrokravte I will need the clearance to deploy

not paying for living expenses helps if alimony comes

Ah, but that implies that they aren't going to care as much about DV allegations wrt your clearance.

I could be completely ignorant here

Well, I am just preparing for the worst. I don't have any charges against me. I would like to keep it that way

Wouldnt matter yet cause he hasn't been deployed, no?

You can lose your clearance if you have DV charges

Well, there's different sorts of clearance, and the ones that are more jumpy aren't the sort that would put you overseas as much?

I think what @asparkofpyrokravte is implying is that you couldn't do such a thing cause you're overseas

But you aren't deployed yet

@InsaneCaterpilla Your right.

nah, I mean that for a regular deployment a DV allegation wouldn't be a significant risk factor

It would, you can't have a record of things

@asparkofpyrokravte My clearance is up there, but DV charges affect my clearance, which in turn affects my ability to deploy

Oh, dang

Seems a little bit like getting scrached in one place leaves claw-marks in another, but eh

Like I said, I am trying to prepare for the worse at this point.

@asparkofpyrokravte thats correct.

Heck, for my job next year, I can't even have been arrested for something within two years. Doesn't matter what it is or if I actually was convicted

Yeah, Clearance jobs pay handsomely

Anyway, I will use your resource tomorrow. @asparkofpyrokravte @InsaneCaterpilla Thanks for your time. I will follow up later today. Gotta be up in 4 hours.

Goodnight

Oof, I doubt I was as much help as @asparkofpyrokravte, but rest well and good luck with everything :3

In GA I'm hearing a 2-5 year unless until remarried or dead

Alimony guidelines are so bad. I am presentin to the court that even though I made more, she caused more damage with her reckless spending. She kept us in debt and check-to-check when we should have been banking $200+ a month

Sounds like my spouse

@Dan da Dad @RandyLahey That sounds like some really shitty stuff. Let me know if you are up for writing about it at all.

@Men Are Human Maybe, probably after this mistake falls over

I'm going to have plenty of time over the weekend to talk and do an AMA here. I just got released from jail two hours ago

Y'all wanna talk about mistakes? Lads, get ready for a tale. For now, I'm going to sleep. I think Discord has been reestablished in my work computers so I can chime in throughout the day tomorrow.

0_o

Sounds like the kind of thing that would be great to post on /r/mensrights if its about false arrest stuff

How about I try here first. There's a lot to the story

Two nights ago, my stbxw found a recording device in our room. I have been sleeping in a converted guestroom for several weeks, but the room in question is mine as well
We are going through a divorce since October, but I've found out little by little that she had cheated on me, and details about the timetable and activities have been hard to obtain
She found the recording device Monday. Tuesday at 10AM I was picked up for invasion of privacy. I was booked at 6PM. I was then brought to a cell in D block at 2AM Wednesday morning.
I was seen by a judge to set bail, a hearing date, and be clear of the charge, which was "Eavesdropping." This is a felony.
From 10am Tuesday to 10PM last night, I have been in shirt, sandals, and pants. Very thin. No underwear. A plastic mat and pillow. A not-quite-so-large wool blanket.

If its in a house you jointly own then wouldn't that be an exemption under the law? If it's not then couldn't a security camera catching a burgler in your home saying something to his accomplice cause you to be arrested

I felt the same. Like a nanny cam is legal, right? Also, it wasn't video in a bathroom, it is audio in my own bedroom.

That will be my defense, and I do have a preliminary hearing set up, hoping to talk to the Public Defender about this, but this was all yesterday, so I'm just now out, at work, and making a plan

Hmm yea, that's best. is it the states you are in? I had a little look and it seems like exemptions/laws differ slightly state to state

In GA, it falls under invasion of privacy/eavesdropping, and lists several aggravating circumstances. She is using the "reasonable expectation of privacy," which I get if she weren't an adultress. What I need to do is look up what rights I have in m own home.

You've probably seen this but this came up, though the language can be a little hard to follow

https://law.justia.com/codes/georgia/2010/title-16/chapter-11/article-3/part-1/16-11-62

My friend, this is gold!

or at least Reddit Silver!

I'm glad it helps mate

It does! I want to be as prepared as possible for my PD meeting.

Have not heard good things about our office here

Oof, what kind of things did you hear?

Timetables, activities

At one point, she would only confess to oral and digital penetration, and also "cited" GA Divorce Law that Adultery can only be enacted if PIV intercourse can be proven, so obviously she never admitted to that. I always suspected.

She also stated I could be held liable for slander if I attempted to divorce her under adultery and could not prove it

Well, now I have recording of her saying "I remember the first time, you were so shy and nervous and awkward." And he replied "And then we had sex in the car."

Ah, I meant about the PD office ^^;

Those things are either great or horrible to hear, depending how you currently feel about things...

Perhaps both

It is what it is. I have to deal with the emotional aspect and the legal aspect separately. In terms of the office, they call him the Public Pretender.

And you can't be charged with slander for putting something through the courts, that would only be for you saying something on a public forum which can be demonstrably false, I think

I believe so as well. It would have to be in a way that would damage or discredit a person and cause damage.

I'll hope for ya that you hear good news at the meeting, mate

[(Messed) Up Date]:
Last we left off, she had found the device. She confronted me about it, where I stated I am allowed to record in my own house, and that I did have damning information. The next morning, she had me arrested for eavesdropping, which is a felony. I went into jail 10AM Tuesday, booked and set a hearing date, and I bailed out 10PM Wednesday. I have an order not to go near her or return to the house.

**New bit of news,** our checks came in last night. Hers is direct to her new personal account, and we have a joint account that our mutual bills come out of, where my checks still get directed. Post-filing, we have emails stating that our money is our own and our bills are our own, and we only transfer to square up. She currently owes me money from previous bills that have come out, and then **she transferred $500 out to her new account**, which violates this agreement. **She stole $500** which § 16-8-12 states is the minimum required for *Felony* Theft by Taking.
My parents are pooling for a good lawyer.

So my question i guess it sort the same. I have cameras in my house to see who comes and goes . Since i separated from my wife she stay in another room but i also placed a camera in my room to see when she comes and goes. That being said while im away i can hear her yell and threating our kids. I have an attorney and bought it up. They told me i cant use it and it’s illegal but the recording would show what kind of mother she is .

Two things, that I will share from my perspective that may get you started on where to look: In our state, it is a one-party consent state. If one party (i.e. ME) consents to the recording, it is admissable.

As for the Eavesdropping charge: if there is a reasonable expectation of privacy, and no party is aware of the recording, that is the basis for the invasion of privacy. There are a couple of trumps - PARENTAL CONCERN trumps expectation of privacy. Let me find our statute...

O.C.G.A. 16-11-62

It shall be unlawful for:

(1) Any person in a clandestine manner intentionally to overhear, transmit, or record or attempt to overhear, transmit, or record the private conversation of another which shall originate in any private place;

(2) Any person, through the use of any device, without the consent of all persons observed, to observe, photograph, or record the activities of another which occur in any private place and out of public view; provided, however, that it shall not be unlawful:

Yo, @InsaneCaterpilla you should either sticky that link you made, or make a locked channel solely for divorce resources

(B) For an owner or occupier of real property to use for security purposes, crime prevention, or crime detection any device to observe, photograph, or record the activities of persons who are on the property or an approach thereto in areas where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy; or

(C) To use for security purposes, crime prevention, or crime detection any device to observe, photograph, or record the activities of persons who are within the curtilage of the residence of the person using such device. A photograph, videotape, or record made in accordance with this subparagraph, or a copy thereof, may be disclosed by such resident to the district attorney or a law enforcement officer and shall be admissible in a judicial proceeding, without the consent of any person observed, photographed, or recorded;

@Dan da Dad I don't think I should, mate, because it's going to differ between states and I dont want to give out inaccurate information which could harm people

I understand that, and the first sticky to that channel should include such provisions (we are not lawyers, and even of we are, this is not legal advice, etc...) because as a place to share stories, we also give each other starting points for where to look for our own specific cases. Just thought I'd bring it up

Your link has been very helpful for starting points for my own searches, for example, even with my new charge. It gives me things to bring to my lawyer so we both start off more evenly in our discussions

Mmm, okies mate, I'll definitely bring up the idea with menarehuman regarding adding a separate channel for divorce resources, I guess we could try and add guidelines for different states, let us know if you find any other useful infos in your search ^^

Will do! This is one of my go-to places for what's going on with my case. Even just the support is a tremendous relief

so im in GA and its was hiding in my room and the way she spoke to my kids is very wrong my lawyer told me not to use

I'm in GA, too! Let me see if I can find what I saw...

(2) Any person, through the use of any device, without the consent of all persons observed, to observe, photograph, or record the activities of another which occur in any private place and out of public view; provided, however, that it shall not be unlawful:

(B) For an owner or occupier of real property to use for security purposes, crime prevention, or crime detection any device to observe, photograph, or record the activities of persons who are on the property or an approach thereto in areas where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy; or

In other words, you are protected (1) unless you are committing a crime

but it was not in the same room , you could over hear her

Your lawyer may be differentiating between legally abusive language and what a reasonable person may consider wrong, but not necessarily illegal

(C) To use for security purposes, crime prevention, or crime detection any device to observe, photograph, or record the activities of persons who are within the curtilage of the residence of the person using such device. A photograph, videotape, or record made in accordance with this subparagraph, or a copy thereof, may be disclosed by such resident to the district attorney or a law enforcement officer and shall be admissible in a judicial proceeding, without the consent of any person observed, photographed, or recorded;

You may ask your lawyer if you need to bring this to the DA or CPS directly

ok im going to copy and paste it to her .

I found the 2017 version here: https://law.justia.com/codes/georgia/2017/title-16/chapter-11/article-3/part-1/section-16-11-62/

I wold not share with her your evidence yet

i havent i know i bought it to hear what i heard and she told me i cant tell the court but its one thing to actually have it

What exactly are you lawyered up for?

Divorce? Suspicion of abuse? A different case?

divorce

Ah, same here bro

I am seeking an aggressive lawyer to fight this Eavesdrop charge

(B) For an owner or occupier of real property to use for security purposes, crime prevention, or crime detection any device to observe, photograph, or record the activities of persons who are on the property or an approach thereto in areas where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy;

- Since adultery is a crime, and I am the owner/occupier of the property, I have the right to record while on my premises

it crazy how much they charge

The retainer for the one I want is over 7k

and yes she did have another guy over as well

i spend 12k

Jeeebus! So here's what you gotta ask your lawyer: with the evidence you have, can you prove an At-Fault Divorce? If he/she is confident you can, than it impacts everything else