You need an old-timey plague doctor

^

Bbl

Baking requires you to follow a recipe exactly, cooking requires you to adapt a recipe to produce the best result

Tbh you just need to admit you fucked yourself too hard with your bad dragon horse dildo last night @Mr.Plague

Don bringing that old man experience

You right

I got raped by a massive shit

https://youtu.be/Jy5X3UwnMy8

I'm a shaman sometimes, I can prescribe eating ghosts if you need that

The funny thing this thing happened before

Going to the doctors is for pussys

Its ok guys it was just a big shid

@Kareemstar i mean he did admit to having haemorrhoids so there's a less sinister explanation...

@Kriley74 74 IQ kriley

Just take the bleeding from your arse like a man

Nah dont

@coattailsandbowties Missed that part

Can I do bathroom painting with my anal blood?

Aye it was small

But if that’s from Hemorrhoids then holy shit

Yeah sure @Mr.Plague

How do you wipe your ass so violently?

Anyway, was the poop black or nah?

Nah

If the poop was black it's an upper intestinal problem

That’ll tell me if it’s internal or hemorrhoids

Brown and red

Brown an red

Right

So

The red will be blood in the mucosal coating

That's fine

If it's bright red its hemorrhoid

Stop wiping your ass so vigorously and use a cushion to sit down.

reenact the scene from IT with blood spraying around the bathroom but instead of it coming from the sink it comes from your asshole

wow

Okay...

that sounds pretty nice to watch actually

I eat a lot of junk and my shit is hard and big and it causes my hemorrhoids

Then eat better