In pain

I don’t really mind to be honest, she’d cry but what am I supposed to hear “come back” no I’d be dead

And what happens if she kills herself as a result of your death

Her blood will be on your hands and the pain her family and friends will feel will be on you as well

She wouldn’t, she’s better than me. I’d leave a note about it anyways

I don’t have any family

How do you know shes better than you

They all died

For all you know you could be the only one keeping her sane

Hell heart break can sometimes drive people mad

I wish i could @tersh rn

Because that man has face death numerous times

Yet he indured

Because he had too

What happened

Diagnosed with cancer twice

Wow

He was cured

But doctors said it could return

And instead of just giving up

He indured

For his family

And recently his wife

He could have just given up but he chose not too

So just know that if tersh can get through what went down with him. You can get through your situation

You can't just give up so easly

But what for? The only thing around is just ignorance and stupidity. Not to mention I basically have two years before I graduate, probably 3 before I get combat experience. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do in life, I can’t do it right now. I just can’t, three years is one hell of a long time. Also because I’m training to be an officer I can’t get married until my training is done

Then have it be your goal

Use it as your motive to keep going

Even if you think there's no point, you would have at least made something on your life instead of just taking the easy way out

And who knows, your efforts could be rewarded in the end

That's something you can never know about life

You should pick up a hobby if you can

Like drawing

^^^^

Finding a distraction can actually help out

Give you short term goals to help distract you from these thoughts

I already draw, write, shoot, make models, work out. I do a lot of things but nothing can distract me

Also I fly

Then you're not doing it right. Try setting larger goals. Try to overcome yourself in what you're good at and don't let yourself be let down by failure. Try making bigger and better drawings, try writing a novel or make models with a level of detail you have never tried before. I know how you feel man.

I am writing a novel, I’m nearly done too