Sorry bro

At least i tried

fuck

i got food poisoning

R.I.P.

you better go get that 'you tried' sticker back from your girlfriend

its really weird because i broke both of my legs and arms she has to move me around... meaning she had to sat right next to me whilst i removed my bowels. that was weird as hell

think of it as a bonding experience

also how tf you using discord you glass bone mf

one hand

fair

I'm just thinking of that guy from Spongebob

yeah

I feel really bad, because of what I did my GF has to miss a few days of college

It’ll be alright, it shows how much she cares about you, reciprocate that

I can only move my right arm and my head so I can’t really give her a hug or anything lol

Try giving her a kiss on the cheek and thank her as often as you can

Small stuff like that

Little things man, drive a girl wild and will stick with her

Ok

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Found out lazy coworker apparently has a huge crush on me

Gross

How'd you find out

Talked to pregnant coworker

She was very surprised that I'm a virgin and I was joking all "yeah, there's no men that want to fuck me haha" and she was all "WELL I KNOW ONE BUT YOU WON'T LIKE TO HEAR IT"

R.I.P.

Someone I was friends with in rl told me to kill myself

after helping them out with things

w e w

That's not good or nice dude

Coal

Nevermind

Told him he can suck a fat jew cock with his meals from now on, fucking cuckold

cant hardly keep a woman let alone a man

~~I wish someone would wish that upon me 😞 ~~

How long have you known this guy

I had to give my coworker a ride to walmart and the entire time he was on the phone arguing with his gf about birth control

Felt very isolating and made me feel very sad to know that I'm likely to not have those same worries or conversations and not have someone care about me that same way

Feels like SHIT

That coworker is younger than me and pretty arrogant to be fair