true

most people are niggers

only a small handful of people are worth it

I built myself up I thought, but coming back around—all those foundations came crumbling down

I don’t know what to do with myself. I suppose I was better off gone, when there was no them to lose

I dunno man

my mom's side of the family pisses me off though

as you get older you get more used to loss

yeah

doesn't make it good

you just get more used to it

being in the military will get you well acquainted to that

I know the feeling far too well

Now that I think about it, I've only known my mother's side of the family.

the foundation crumbling, how many times have you dealt with that?

nvm, re-reading that it sounds more of a social thing than ideological

most people tend to associate with those that they do because it's easy. is really the root of it. whoever is at hand that causes less friction. the next layer is usually shared interest or identity.

like, I have the groups I go to, and then I have my group

and the people in that group are the people i've run into who are just A++

for whatever reason

I don't have any irl friends

my friends in the army fucked me over

it's hard when your time gets pinned like that too

the ones I have mostly just fell into toe same group in high school. handful of people from different grades. most went off to do their thing, but about 6 of us stuck

then i merged that group with the group of friends i made in college

I only have internet friends

and any of those guys can bring people in as long as they're not sketch

i mostly do too these days^

almost all of them are in different states

have one of them about 5 minutes away though

I typically have bad feelings about most people I meet irl

normally, I end up being right about them

it sucks

you're always told to give people a chance, but most of the time they don't deserve it

and the ones who do need that chance, most people just miss it and think they're shit

most don't even give me a fucking chance

the social evaluation game is in a really fucked state

I'm too fucked to socialize, tbh

i can't even maintain eye contact ffs

almost all of the things we're told are "good signs" are things shitty people go out of their way to try really hard to express

i have a hard time too^

i see too much