Is there a way I can find top secret information on when the Jews are going to crash the market?

Yeah if you want to "hedge" spy isn't it usually just better to hold less of it? for normal retail investors?

Yeah the fed open market committee meets pretty regularly

IE should all buy vix and find a way to crash the market

@ThisIsChris for sure. I’m an alternatives analyst at my school’s investment fund, so a lot of what I do is mitigating risk and hedging

@ophiuchus that's really cool

IE should have its own value investment fund

surely 800 of us can do it?

IE having the ability to crash the market... oy vey

There's a MAGA ETF

@ophiuchus do you know about weather derivatives? I was looking into it for a long time but I don't think retail people can trade them

I know what they are but I have very little (none) experience with them

As part of our IPS, we’re only allowed to long things as well. Which is frustrating.

https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/GOP/

What's an IPS?

Investor policy statement

@Jacob Yeah I made money off it!

@ophiuchus can you long inverse ETFs?

https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/dems?ltr=1

Yes

It was nice for awhile

And do

Can you long puts?

@VinceChaos I made money investing in private prisons lmao

Yeah options are fine

literally a company that helps with deportations

Only long calls and puts tho

https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/taxr/

@ophiuchus no spreads?

Also, retardedly, only European options

what European options are out there besides SPX?

also yeah that is a bizarre restriction

Aye, there’s the rub

although I guess it simplifies things

@Jacob gotta do your part even indirectly

easier to price a european option

Does a company benefit in any way when people invest in their stock?

It’s run by students so they’re just going to let us go full retard and short call a Bermudan option on a milkshake company

lol

I mean, common stock is the primary source of equity

Are there any European options besides SPX?