Message from @Grumplebee
Discord ID: 438557545951657984
"When I was a kid my dad hit me too. I swore I would never do that to my wife or my kids. But I did it anyway."
You cant feel bad about that tho man
This has a massive impact on me, because I am mid adolesence and it does something inside me.
This is only a part of the story.
Shouldn't have pity for men that beat their families
So for years, I was afraid. Afraid of being in romantic relationships becuse I am afraid I will be just like him.
I see
Plus he mellowed out after that. We were always religious and he really found jesus after that,
These days he works with kids.
But it has had a negative impact on our family. Including my bro's attempted suicide two weeks after my sons birth.
Man.
I really feel like I gotta get this out, but I'll regret it when I am sober. But someone needs to hear it.
So, in addition to that I was bullied throught school.
As I might have mentioned earlier I'm obese, a hunchback, and have cerebreal palsy.
But these conditions are fairly mild.
I'm lucky I can basically function like a normal person.
But my abusive grandfather had similar features. So because I resembled him, my dad was extra hard on me.
So I was bulllied so bad in school that I decide i want to be home schooled for high school.
My dad actually says "are you sure you want to do that? You won't be able to go to prom, etc."
but the joke is on him
I don't want to have romantic relationships because I afraid I will hurt her. Like he did to my mom.
:/
This causes no end of problems throughout my teenage years.
But I work hard, and eventually go to community college.
But my parents hearts were never reall into the whole home schoolding thing.
There was a girl I really liked when i was a teenager.
But she rejected me. Amplifying my already low self esteem.
She married a pastor, had five kids, and is a perfect tradwife former tomboy MILF now.
Sometimes I wish facebook didn't exist.
Bottom line my teenage years were absolute shit.
But after that, it got worse.
I tried to work, but as a dysfunctional human, my self esteem ground me further down.
I was fired from all kinds of jobs, and didn't doo well in college. In any respect. I was afraid of girls,
I eventually quit college and got into helping my no chilled out dad with the family business.
But that failed.
and I finally got the only job i had for any appriciable length of time.
nearly ten years working for a Hilton hotel.
It was hell
an abusive work environment.
but I tried my best
tried to be a good goy