Message from @Grumplebee
Discord ID: 438557312240582656
Now you might think that is a triump.
but after it, he sits me down and tells me the most devistating thing I have ever heard.
"When I was a kid my dad hit me too. I swore I would never do that to my wife or my kids. But I did it anyway."
You cant feel bad about that tho man
This has a massive impact on me, because I am mid adolesence and it does something inside me.
This is only a part of the story.
Shouldn't have pity for men that beat their families
So for years, I was afraid. Afraid of being in romantic relationships becuse I am afraid I will be just like him.
I see
Plus he mellowed out after that. We were always religious and he really found jesus after that,
These days he works with kids.
But it has had a negative impact on our family. Including my bro's attempted suicide two weeks after my sons birth.
Man.
I really feel like I gotta get this out, but I'll regret it when I am sober. But someone needs to hear it.
So, in addition to that I was bullied throught school.
As I might have mentioned earlier I'm obese, a hunchback, and have cerebreal palsy.
But these conditions are fairly mild.
I'm lucky I can basically function like a normal person.
But my abusive grandfather had similar features. So because I resembled him, my dad was extra hard on me.
So I was bulllied so bad in school that I decide i want to be home schooled for high school.
but the joke is on him
I don't want to have romantic relationships because I afraid I will hurt her. Like he did to my mom.
:/
This causes no end of problems throughout my teenage years.
But I work hard, and eventually go to community college.
But my parents hearts were never reall into the whole home schoolding thing.
There was a girl I really liked when i was a teenager.
But she rejected me. Amplifying my already low self esteem.
She married a pastor, had five kids, and is a perfect tradwife former tomboy MILF now.
Sometimes I wish facebook didn't exist.
Bottom line my teenage years were absolute shit.
But after that, it got worse.
I tried to work, but as a dysfunctional human, my self esteem ground me further down.
I was fired from all kinds of jobs, and didn't doo well in college. In any respect. I was afraid of girls,
I eventually quit college and got into helping my no chilled out dad with the family business.
But that failed.
and I finally got the only job i had for any appriciable length of time.
nearly ten years working for a Hilton hotel.
It was hell
an abusive work environment.