Hire a male prostitute to show her a good time

they are also easy to get last minute

See if Krieger is in town

buy her a book

my mom loves it when i get her a book from her favorite trash author

my mothers birthday falls on mothers day some years

sucks

i havent gotten anything for my mom yet, i should see if there is a new book

Damn. The medical bill I've been dodging for 2+ years finally sent me a collection notice

But by waiting, they cut the bill in half, so I'm still a winner 😎

nice

Just go a bit more in debt for it

What's a little more debt to a burger?

Stay seething, dear

Those dicks are lucky I even paid at all. I was having shooting fucking pains in my left testicle for over a week, went in and they gave me scrotal ultrasound, accused me of fishing for painkillers, and billed me $990 and sent me on my way

thats rude of them

I paid the 400 for the ultrasound (which was done by interns who praised my nutsack as "beautiful" and "very symmetrical"), and told them to go fuck themselves on the other 590 for the "emergency room visit" and "Detailed consultation"

<:wizorblaugh:334498925061079040>

Niggas sent me a bill every month, then it went down to 300, and in the last 3 months down to 150

so I just paid the 150

American Bigthink wins again

you sure showed them (your nuts)

I do have a nice nutsack, not gonna lie

Have any of y'all ever shined a flashlight through your nutsack?

cant say that i have

You're missing out

ill give it a try somtime

Post it in <#189811441174446080>

>uber eats having a local promotion
>first three deliveries are free
>get a box of coffee and 4 crullers
Man, so this is the life Matthew lives

wtf is a cruller

oh its one of THOSE

WHOA

I wonder if they're having the same promo here

Also, @Pawp shine a flashlight through your scrotum and post the results

you too @Deleted User

nah man im good

i just made some pretzles

Y'all must hate fun and burning your nutsack with LEDs

<:thvnk:332928260004642827>

Who hasent candled their nutsack in puberty?

Need to make sure they aren't girl balls