egg and everything tho

best bagels

yeah ive always been more into the savory bagles

everything is always top choice

oh shit mothers day is tomorrow what do I get??

A retroactive abortion

i thought it was on sunday

tomorrow is sunday where it matters

i see

order her something on ali and give her an IOU

that's lame tho

aliexpress giftcard

has to be something I can get locally

how about flowers

@Billy Yum Yum Two-By-Two international date line you brainlet

moms love that gay shit

ill think about it

they're the most npc gift tho

Hire a male prostitute to show her a good time

they are also easy to get last minute

See if Krieger is in town

buy her a book

my mom loves it when i get her a book from her favorite trash author

my mothers birthday falls on mothers day some years

sucks

i havent gotten anything for my mom yet, i should see if there is a new book

Damn. The medical bill I've been dodging for 2+ years finally sent me a collection notice

But by waiting, they cut the bill in half, so I'm still a winner 😎

nice

Just go a bit more in debt for it

What's a little more debt to a burger?

Stay seething, dear

Those dicks are lucky I even paid at all. I was having shooting fucking pains in my left testicle for over a week, went in and they gave me scrotal ultrasound, accused me of fishing for painkillers, and billed me $990 and sent me on my way

thats rude of them

I paid the 400 for the ultrasound (which was done by interns who praised my nutsack as "beautiful" and "very symmetrical"), and told them to go fuck themselves on the other 590 for the "emergency room visit" and "Detailed consultation"

<:wizorblaugh:334498925061079040>

Niggas sent me a bill every month, then it went down to 300, and in the last 3 months down to 150

so I just paid the 150

American Bigthink wins again

you sure showed them (your nuts)

I do have a nice nutsack, not gonna lie