So that's good but I'm anxious about the effort level

And the time

I have 3 other projects right now and two more starting soon

Pwave is launching soon

First rehearsal with my new church band was a ton of work and very taxing

Corona

People contacting me asking about my plans

Asking me and my boys to come help them when shtf

I'm busy as fuck, have a producer from Nashville coming up tomorrow to work

And I have three hockey games this weekend

I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't sleep

I'm worried I'm going to fuck myself out of all these good gigs and thousands of dollars worth of projects, table value between now and end of April is like 10k and I'm not sure how to handle that

First rehearsal was hard and I'm worried I'll be viewed poorly

Fuck

I didn't make time to go to the gym but once this week and I'm definitely feeling it

Fuck

*fuck*

@Bard its completely normal

I had the same shit

Panic attacks n all

You feel clueless of what you're going to do, right?

You'll figure it out sooner or later

@Bodark Actual I see

Try to find some support from family and friends

Wish I could help

@Bodark Actual ima be inna rn if ya wanna chat

I'm back and I'm good now I just got overwhelmed

Everything I want is happening and it's a ton to deal with

I also was exhausted

I dunno what's up but my girl has been hitting me with "what do you love about me?" "Do you still like me?" "Why do you like me?" Type shit and it puts me in a shitty spot because a)I cant think of like good well spoke things and b)I dont like being asked that stuff. Its apparent that I do a ton of shit that demonstrates I love her, it's not flowers every day but like shit. I work all the time, I hardly have enough energy to put forth in video games let alone emotional stuff

@Scr0m I had an ex that did this CONSTANTLY. I hated it. I feel that homeslice.

@Schadraquetor dude, its rough. If I asked her, she would have tons of different things to say but like.. I also have 1500 things going on in my head at once especially with work. I just wanna be home and not pressured into coming up with thoughtful creative things

I fucking feel that. In my experience women do that because they feel inadequate and want to feel good about themselves or need constant praise. It's mentally taxing as all fuck. Although your mileage may vary as my ex was actually just a piece of shit. I also struggle personally because I have a hard time expressing things/being outwardly romantic, but that's a me problem.

You add stress and work into the equation and it's just fucking annoying.

No offense, but shit like this is another thing in a long ass list as to why I'm single

If I was not fortunate enough to be with a hella girl who I love to death I would probably be taking a long break off of close relationships, particularly with the politics and evolution of things at the moment.

@Schadraquetor Sounds exactly like the same boat I'm in, tbh. I'm sorta autistic. My girl isnt a piece of shit tho, it is an inadequacy problem. She had a medical procedure that has caused massive stress since january. So she probably is just insecure in it but like it doesnt hella work for me to try and explain that I love her.

That'll do it. My guess is that if she's a good girl her stress will decrease as she continues to medically improve.

Hopefully, we'll see as things go. It's just rough for me being financial, emotional, and physical support beacon all at once. Like fuck.

Been there before, it weighs heavy on a man don'tcha know.

Even now I'm in a better situation, I'm making more money than I ever had before but I'm still paying all living expenses and occasionally helping the girlfriend with her own bills. All I've wanted since I've moved here and taken this job is to spend some money on myself. The reason I've been excited about finally buying a propper AR-15 lately is because I had to sell other guns I didn't want as much to fund the operation.