But if it makes you feel better to be a certain way then more power to you

I was blue pill before.

@InsaneCaterpilla Nah, I appreciate it. I need to be focused right now.

But, its true. The situation is overly complicated. A lot of context is left out.

I just mean, there's nothing wrong with if you see it as self improvement. That's always a worthy goal to adhere to, to better yourself, and if you feel you have then it's something to be proud of

I posted this a while back. https://tinyurl.com/ycl38zhc

@InsaneCaterpilla I appreciate it. I lost a lot of opportunity because of this relationship

a lot of money too

Okeydoke, so my advice in the absence of me or Caterpilla having anyone to contact is to contact the NCFM, just to say "hi, I'm planning to separate from a bad relationship, I'm in South Carolina, she's vindicative, there's a possible pregnancy, and I really want to keep my security clearance. I'm not sure if you are the right people to contact, but who should I be talking to in order to get basic advice of what to do about these things, other than a lawyer?". Using the resources from https://ncfm.org/lead-with-us/chapters/. It seems the contact points would be 888-223-1280 or [email protected].

but you mostly have good advice already

It may be considered evil to a lot of people, but I'm a firm believer in a universal living wage, that simply living your life shouldn't mean you have to work, not on a base level

from the reddit thread and stuff

Yeah, I need to consult with a lawyer on this one bigly.

You should definitely, and its good to try and find one who specialises in these kind of issues, divorce lawyers for men have a lot of experience in what to expect

@InsaneCaterpilla it might come at some point. I am a firm believer that my spouse should work. It has not come yet.

In today's world she should. What I meant was to speak of a future world where we rely on automation to solve our problems

I know what you meant. No problem.

the last lawyer I met a while back divorced as well.

All he said was to throw money at her and leave.

wasn't great advice.

Definitely not good advice at all, your ex can still indenture you to pay through alimony (and possibly child support if she really is pregnant)

That's the thing, finding a trustworthy lawyer to find for this sort of thing is something I'd be super worried about.

I dont think alimony comes into play here

Are you married?

It sure does

we have been married for 1 year

wasnt long at all

We are in our mid 20s

Idk what the laws for marriage duration for alimony are in NC

10 years

in sC

SC, sorry

A brief look at an SC lawyers website says alimony will be less of a thing for shorter marriage, it does not say anything about alimony having a cutoff

its usually half the duration of a marriage

so in my case 6 months

or 1 year including the separation

If you haven't decided on a lawyer yet, that'd be another good reason to reach out to the NCFM, if you don't have a recommendation for some lawyer, they'd likely have some.

Oh, nice, that sounds rather merciful

I wouldn't call it merciful... Not as bad as some perhaps, but any alimony is pretty horrible imo

@asparkofpyrokravte Appreciate the resource, I'll be sure to give them a call tomorrow. The only thing I am worried about is the maybe pregnancy, finances, and DV. Maybe revenge to my career.

I think I would be ok with 1 year. Im planning on deploying overseas after the divorce is finalized.