Even good people can't help how they feel. Emotion is a multiplicative force, love being the strongest. With many conflicting thoughts and feelings coming through, it was probably tough for them to stay settled.

I still love my wife, despite the adultery, and despite the ghastly treatment.

When I see her, I must compose myself because my love for her creates fantasies and illusions - references to good times in the past my brain doesn't want to let go of - and deal with her as the person she is before me.

Divorce is business. Unfortunately, it's in the feeling business.

There’s also no real social impediment for violent eruptions on men, people just see it as “not counting” because they picture a slap to the face. But worse things happen and men can get hurt

Absolutely. Men feel that reporting is weakness, but bottling the disrespect and treatment can cause long lasting damage to the relationship and of course the man himself

Resentment, trust issues, self-worth

And that men can be arrested for reporting

Or defending themselves

I'm glad i found this channel, just reading back a few sounds like I am going through a very similar experience as everyone here

@Dan da Dad I've been having just about the exact emotions and sentiments as you. Especially when thinking of the good times in the past.

I'm currently trying to choose representation in a possible divorce but not sure how to proceed, can I DM someone for more info?

I can't give a lot of advice on who you should choose as representation... I would think a firm specialising in divorce (preferably one that specialises in representing men) would be a very good bet though if you have one there. COP may well have more advice when he gets back on

That's kind of an obvious thing to recommend though ^^;

You can definitely feel if they are hungry, though. I've had multiple consults and I appreciate a lawyer shooting straight with my expectations, but I haven't found one that has heard my side and responded like they were as energetic and emotional as I am. So I'm going to keep looking.

I'm willing to go into debt if it increases my chances to get what's best for my children, but I need to be committed, and so does the attorney.

One thing, though, word of mouth should be regarded as strongly as web reviews.

@NovemSemita Hello. If you feel bad or need to talk we are all here for you. Hopefully one of the experienced guys will talk you through this. If you need help just page <@&520991890062180372> or <@&516181909554987038>

Hey gang. Wondering how many of you saw this:

https://twitter.com/men_are_human/status/1073656539976732673

Basically, there is video evidence of lawyers being taught to destroy men in court with false accusations. If you watch the raw footage it gets waaaay worse.

jesus, we need to spread this

there was something similar on the sub just a few weeks back

also about lawyers telling ppl to use false accusations of rape to get benefits or smth

i think i should make a twitter

i never have but i should

I'll follow you if you do, though I can tweet things for you if you feel the need.

help spread stuff like this

We must

It's abusive.

Agreed. I have a Twitter account for just positive quotes and a few fantasy football links, and it has grown little by little over the years. It can definitely spread, especially with dedicated contributors.

Hello all, going thru ugly divorce here. Really could use any advice. Just found the subreddit and now this discord.

That really sucks :< sorry to hear that

Which things in particular do you want advice about? Obviously we are no substitute for a legal professional, but we'll try our best

What country, and what has already transpired in the divorce process? Once you're actually going through an ugly divorce your ability to mitigate what is happening is pretty limited though.

Without some of that information the only thing we can really say is: make sure you always have witnesses (or if not, then a recording) of anything that goes on between yourself and interested people (such as your spouse) once the divorce gets ugly. Also, buckle up 'cause your in for a ride, but keep calm and listen to a lawyer.

No country honestly.

No County has a reasonable divorce process.

Maybe not, but what country matters so that you are aware of the specific process and do all you can do to make things more equitable

Yep, agreed. More men should do the research and be aware of such processes to minimize the harm.

People should take permanent legal decisions more seriously!