Message from @machtyn

Discord ID: 500835120203169803


2018-10-14 00:53:13 UTC  

bro...

2018-10-14 00:53:20 UTC  

u think my mom really wants me to kill myself tho?

2018-10-14 00:53:36 UTC  

@Sam Amari I don't really think she means it but I bet she has thought it my dude.

2018-10-14 00:54:32 UTC  

The real issue is: Can you undo the damage done to you through behavioral changes and get off these expensive meds?

2018-10-14 00:54:53 UTC  

Can you increase income to afford this and survive?

2018-10-14 00:56:04 UTC  

I have no other choice I think

2018-10-14 00:56:19 UTC  

i dont think i can stop taking my blood pressure med

2018-10-14 00:56:28 UTC  

i could potentially get off my gabapentin

2018-10-14 00:56:54 UTC  

right now there is no other choice.........you have come through much, and its serious.......

2018-10-14 00:57:05 UTC  

I think you might be able to get off blood pressure too... ask the german doctor via email/phone call. You definitely will get a hold of him if you're an old patient.

2018-10-14 00:57:08 UTC  

and it may indeed get a tad harder

2018-10-14 00:58:06 UTC  

but you did say "I have no other choice" and that is a reality, and truth YOU even know

2018-10-14 00:58:34 UTC  

being on the streets and shit wouldnt terrify me as much if i didnt have two glaring weaknesses

2018-10-14 00:58:58 UTC  

the streets are pretty terrifying.....even this place we live

2018-10-14 00:59:02 UTC  

@Sam Amari find a way to distract your thoughts right now

2018-10-14 00:59:10 UTC  

if i get punched in the kidney i can die. i had to stop playing hockey my favorite sport. and when you've had the operations ive had you have NO upper body strength or muscle and cannot really build it. its like the cartiledge in my chest if frozen in place

2018-10-14 00:59:29 UTC  

so i fear the fuck out of situations where im like a "weak other" like being homeless or in prison. i have a billion scars on my chest

2018-10-14 00:59:35 UTC  

not a billion but yeah

2018-10-14 00:59:44 UTC  

I get what you mean......

2018-10-14 00:59:49 UTC  

@Sam Amari There are charities and organizations to help people exactly like you.

2018-10-14 00:59:57 UTC  

ESPECIALLY IN FUCKING OREGON

2018-10-14 01:00:04 UTC  

Yes there are.

2018-10-14 01:00:05 UTC  

The most liberal place ever.

2018-10-14 01:00:20 UTC  

You can set up a gofundme... if anything dude.

2018-10-14 01:00:45 UTC  

You don't have to mention the family stuff just your situation.

2018-10-14 01:00:57 UTC  

lol i dont even have a fucking BANK account right now cuz out of sheer coincidence, all of this happened while i was trying to switch banks

2018-10-14 01:01:02 UTC  

No! No gofundme, no PayPal, nothing. At least, for now

2018-10-14 01:01:10 UTC  

so i closed an account and then this shit went down before i got a new bank account

2018-10-14 01:01:16 UTC  

and you need to call the iunsurance, the doctors offices and get the info from them......they can direct you to other services that can help. It's a start.....and you must start somewhere my man

2018-10-14 01:01:36 UTC  

@Sam Amari you will be alright after a sleep

2018-10-14 01:02:00 UTC  

i dont really want to leave the chat but i will if u guys want me to

2018-10-14 01:02:07 UTC  

I wil chat with you

2018-10-14 01:02:26 UTC  

im listening. and i can change the subject and talk about something other than me... damn man.

2018-10-14 01:02:26 UTC  

until you are ready to get some rest....I am here

2018-10-14 01:02:40 UTC  

u guys are really great man

2018-10-14 01:03:11 UTC  

@Sam Amari we're your Bros, bro!

2018-10-14 01:03:19 UTC  

You're great and no....we cannot relate..........and its terrible right now. However, if you want to vent. I will reply

2018-10-14 01:04:02 UTC  

the last day that they removed the metal bars from my chest was the superbowl 49ers versus the Ravens

2018-10-14 01:04:14 UTC  

did the niners win?

2018-10-14 01:04:19 UTC  

I don't particularly like NFL, but I was in the hospital for 2 months with SHIT internet

2018-10-14 01:04:20 UTC  

not a footballer