so i closed an account and then this shit went down before i got a new bank account

and you need to call the iunsurance, the doctors offices and get the info from them......they can direct you to other services that can help. It's a start.....and you must start somewhere my man

@Sam Amari you will be alright after a sleep

i dont really want to leave the chat but i will if u guys want me to

I wil chat with you

im listening. and i can change the subject and talk about something other than me... damn man.

until you are ready to get some rest....I am here

u guys are really great man

@Sam Amari we're your Bros, bro!

You're great and no....we cannot relate..........and its terrible right now. However, if you want to vent. I will reply

the last day that they removed the metal bars from my chest was the superbowl 49ers versus the Ravens

did the niners win?

I don't particularly like NFL, but I was in the hospital for 2 months with SHIT internet

not a footballer

I think the 49ers won

What is the composition of your metal bar?

so i got released the day of the superbowl, and in germany it was on at like 1am, so i stayed up til like 5am. it was also the game where the lights went out for like an hour so i was up super late. but i was so glad to be out of the hospital and hear like american voies man. the particular hospital i was in was in Berlin

eh......niners.........okay I remember reading about that

so in Berlin... the part i was in was the russian part, so most of my nurses just knew russian and german as opposed to russian and english

so i had to learn lots of words

which one was when that guy from the Seahawks went on a rant "Don't you EVER talk about me!!!"

the one i remember most is schmerzen

ill never forget that one

LOL

Richard Sherman

that's right

tbh man im so conflicted. i look back at my mom and she went through some shit with me in Germany and temper tantrums that i had being so frustrated by my situation. but at this point in time shes decided to exile me for what i feel is a completely asinine reason. maybe shes having financial troubles i dont know abut and she cant afford to keep helping me but i really doub tthat.

its not like im trying to be a leech, i just literally have never had a job that made enough to afford my medical stuff. i mean, i had surgery every summer i should have had internships. i just dont have the absolute greatest resume

Hey.....at this point....you have to worry about you at the moment

Mom and family will have to work themselves out in due time.

@Sam Amari and?

And it will

when i get this stressed i just dont have an appetite. part of it is cuz there's always like a permanent "pressing" or restricted feeling on my chest from the metal bars that i had in there and when i get really full, its painful in a way that it wasnt before i had the surgery

meh, sorry @Kazemaru

im feeling sorry for myself for sure. but i really cant put together like a vision of what i need to do

just seems hopeless

No need to sorry, @Sam Amari just keep talking. You need this

my bad yeah i thought i was over doing it

Dont be ashamed of reveal your weakness

its just fucked man. i would never wish the situation where you still have to feel dependant on someone at 29 on anyone. but i had literally no control over my medical situation being what it is. i was just born

Sam......this is going to take a little time to get over with........I just want you when you close up for the night to know that you are indeed cared for, and have value to quite a few gents here