Don't do anything stupid like i did

Be the nicest guy to another girl

But if the fuck you up

Be the most dickhead in the universe

This is kind of a long one, so I don't blame anyone that doesn't reads it all.

I am kind of a combination between a late bloomer and a total retard when it comes to social shit. I always got sad in high school because I would see classmates in relationships and there I was alone and just wanting to kinda have a gf.

I got my first gf at 21 (aug last year) and was excited because I finally got what I wanted. I was never desperate about it, but just kinda sad because I thought i was missing out. But at 21 i thought it was also great because that would mean that I was more mature and not as driven by hormones as any teen relationship would. I was also very clear that I was serious about the relationship and was not looking for anything casual which she also said was what she was looking for.

At the start it was something great, and I gave her lots of gifts (nothing big and fancy, stuff like little necklaces or makeup and that sort of thing) and i met her family and got along great.

And after february was when thing took a turn, she started to give short answers yo mesagges and things like that, and removed that thing that shows "last online". Going out with her felt like she was trying to be there but wanted not to. And after a while, i insisted to talk in person but she didn't want to, and so we where having serious talks on messenger because "if it's important doesn't matter if it's texting" and i just felt wrong with that stuff.

The thing that made me sort of realize what was going on when she said (in a text) that "if i still had depression even though i was dating her then it's not worth doing so". And the thing is i always told her that I had that problem, and that i had it way before knowing her. We also never had sex because i have body issues and find myself disgusting, even after she asked several times to do it. Just once i felt kind of in the mood and she denied it.

The breakup lasted three days because she "misunderstood" what I had said and thought i was angry but still wanted to be with her.

After the breakup my friends started telling me that she was very manipulative (and I didn't see it) and started telling me how and they where right. I almost every weekend went to her house to spend time with her and if i went on public transport i had to get up at 5 because i lived between 2 - 2:30 hours away, and she didn't let me go after 8pm (and the last bus to my house leaves 10pm, so if i was lucky and ran between metro stations i would barely catch the bus).

But she wouldn't go to my house. The only times she came i had to drive to her house (which costed ~80 pesos in road fees plus gas) and bring her to my house.

I also stopped going out with my friends because she wanted to do something with me, and when I hung out with them she got mad because she thought i was ignoring her on purpose, so i basically had to be at my phone even if i was out with frinds.

I also lost a friend because she liked me but didn't told me after i was with my gf.

After we broke up she told me she didn't want to talk to me again because that would be hurtful to both of us, but then she started messagimg me again anf saying that if i ever talk about her it has to be nicd thing and such.

I sort of vowed to myself to be single for at least until i had bettered myself (thing that i was planning on doig this summer but failed), but now just out of nowhere i start to realize that now i'm falling for my one of my friends.

She was really supportive of me during my relationship and gave me some advice when things started to go wrong. I fpund out i can tell her almost anything and she would understand and suport. I now realize that maybe my ex might have been jealous of her too.

She also shares some issues with me (like depression, anxiety and body image issues) and comfort each other when we can.

Every time we part ways she hugs me really hard and realize that my ex didn't do that and sometimes didn't want to hold hands when walking.

I'm just afraid of falling in love with her and ruining our friendship.

Everything that went wrong with my ex happened; my grades tanked, i went back to hate myself and worsen my depressiom, gained a fuckton of weight and now i also feel broken

I don't know what to do

Also, please forgive English lol

Homie

@Dr Meme just meet her

You gotta do what is in your best interest. Friendships with women are NEVER worth not trying for a relationship, take my advise. Men and women, for the most part, are mentally incompatable

Tldr: my ex messed me up and now i might fall in love with a friend

like know her really well

better then yourself

I fail to see how this could go wrong

either way, rejected or accepted, you win

don't risk doing to the same swamp 2 times in the row

We know eachother since when we started college, around three years ago

Fuck her dad

Just kind calm and think about this

@Trash Squid lol

I'm not trying to make a rash desition. Quite the oposite

Did you ever seens her sad as fuck, what might make her jejealous etc

And if your answers are good and you think this will work long them fucking hit it

Yes and yes. We know eachother pretty well

We have taken courses together for almost three years

The thing is that i don't think is a good idea, because i just got out of a bad relationship

And i don't want to hurt her

So just wait

Don't make her your pillow so you can get on your feet

Men the fuck up and do it alone and like real men you are make it fucking work

Show her you are kind of guy for her

That's what i mean

The thing is im a retard with words lol

But yeah

We are still planing on hanging out once she gets back from her home state

She knows about this right?

.about what

That you have problem with words and shit

Yeah she knows