Paint?

Red paint. Because paint smells the same, but it’s the color red

your ass when the smurfs are finished with ya

CORRECT

My dad nailed me with that one when we was picking out a paint scheme for our 65

I never ran fast enough, so...

A friend of mine, who was a road construction worker, was let go from his job following accusations of theft. I didn't believe the charges, but when I went to his house to see how he was, all the signs were there.

These dad jokes are starting to *build* upon each other!

I thought it went:
How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag?
Take the f out of safe and the f out of way.

....

what

in the world

Is it “what in the world”?
Or “*where on* the world”?

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/697247254456696862/803064546264481812/image0.jpg

bruh

Lmao

why country humans though?

just

why!?

When you get a bigger bed you have more bed room and less bedroom

My dad told me this one:

Why do Finnish ships have barcodes on the sides?
||So when they dock, they can Scandinavian.||

*it makes more sense if you read this one aloud*
did you hear about the farmer who grew the world's largest pickle?
.....
it was a big dill

Not a joke, but imagine someone scrolling through while they’re high 😂

Two nudists were discussing politics. The first asked the other, "So, have you read Marx?"

"Yes," the other man replied, "it's these damn wicker chairs!"

my husband every time

^me if I get a wife^

Saw a midget repelling down the wall of a prison.
Thought to myself, that's a little con descending.

Did you hear about the psychic dwarf who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Then there was the nudist colony with a hole in it's fence.
The police are looking into it.

A man crashed into a nudist colony.
Not because he wasn't looking where he was going.
Quite the opposite, actually.

He was trying to get through the hole

There is a joke I once heard that I wish I could remember. It was about a mom giving a dad instructions about the kids..then the dad helping the kids pack as if they were being kicked out of the house by the mom. It was hilarious. Anyone know it?

Mom: “honey, I need you to take the kids.”
Dad : “and we are going to need toothbrushes.”

This is one that I remember

Did you here the one about the cannibal who passed his friend in the jungle?