But it’s honestly hard for me to tell. When I read back anything I write I’m more or less lost in the setting that I’m trying to build

People that write in all caps intrigue me

And a ping for @KirkpattieCake since they gave me initial feedback

I can't write in cursive anymore. at least, not legibly.

And I write a lot less rigid most of the time.

I couldn't to begin with lol

That is the type of writing I was taught to use when filling out journals for lab reports in High School and College. Clear and legible

Youre not apart of my generation then lol

I'm left-handed. I had my left wrist and hand damaged in an accident when I was fourteen; now I just sort of scribble with my right.

But anyways, always happy for any feedback on the content, and anything else really. Don’t be afraid to be blunt, i promise that I’m harsher with myself than others might be x3

I’m technically a millennial

Barely in the range for a 90’s kid as well

Why do you hate periods so much .

LOL I predate the internet.

Because I wanted to write a one sentence paragraph :D

Dang ok

But for me it's kinda overwhelming, esp when ur trying to introduce me to the world

lmao, that opening sentence just got longer

But really, I remember having to analyze an essay that was easily three times the length of that that was one entire sentence with nothing except semicolons commas and one period

I always found the idea interesting

If it makes you feel better this isn’t going to be the opening to a novel or anything it’s just a section that I have yet to place other than knowing it will not be the start or the end

If it comes after a scene/chapter break, this is still the placement into the scene -- and I think it does a good job, but it could be slicker.

Like if you imagine how it would be read out loud, where you'd get the emphasis/pauses/breaths

I'm down for another sprint if anyone wants to join? <:ExcitedPepe:781198443665424424>

```In spite of the afternoon sun, the markets, mainstreet, and alleys within Fort Leer sagged low, damp with the weight of the breathless, hungry, and exhausted.```

Like, that would be my editorial suggestion to slick the sentence/reading, but keep the mood, which is strong, it's still over worded imo which breaks the vibe of what sucks you in

Gotcha

Wordiness is a definite weakness of mine ^^’

@MofoDoggo I'm down for some but tomorrow

I'll be down in just a bit.

Also I promise that the pics of handwritten pages is only temporary!

WHAT. THIS ISNT HOW YOURE GONNA PUBLISH IT?!

It’s just all I can do at the moment except tap away on my phone xD

Ok... only if u promise ;-;

I mean I can still hand write chunks if that’s preferred

```Two expended and beleaguered men shouldered the burden of their lordship's cart, careful lest they disturb their cargo;```

Do you see the pacing changes?

Yeah. And I started to read it back to myself and definitely saw what you meant

Or rather, felt, because I only got 2/3 of the way through before I had to stop and catch my breath properly

```In spite of the afternoon sun, the markets, mainstreet, and alleys within Fort Leer sagged low, damp with the weight of the breathless, hungry, and exhausted; two expended and beleaguered men shouldered the burden of their lordship's cart, careful lest they disturb their cargo; behind the cart, more guards, marching in steel footfalls; their presence was a promise: anything more than watching would be rewarded with a trip to the dirty ground;```