It's not my assistance that I think you need.

We both have the blood but my skin is too white

It's that of very, very good and expensive lawyers.

I don't have dark skin, I'm very light. You?

Damn

Same

Damn it!

What about Merric?

Okay wait

I have a plan

Now bare with me on this

We claim you're my mom and that tom cruise is my dad

I'm not even done with the consipiracy theory yet!

And you had me when you were 6

There's more weirdness.

I'm old but not that old!

I know! That's the point

People will freak out and give us lots of money on go fund me

Age 6 from a cult

The current leader of the WBC is a Guy named Drain. one of the few non phelps member of the church. Here's a quote "That Drain is one of the church’s few non-Phelps family members is only a small part of his curious story. In 2001, a then-35-year-old Drain set out to make a documentary exposing the gay-hating, disruptive church he’d become familiar with while in graduate school at The University of Kansas. Instead, Drain wound up moving his family from Tampa to Topeka to join the congregation."

Goes with the whole pedo thing going on too

He's also the guy that does all their media stuff. Which is why their media is so savvy.

Drain? He couldn't have picked a better name?

Lol

article in question https://www.thedailybeast.com/this-man-is-the-future-of-westboro-baptist-church

Man even if it is a farce

The kids won't understand that

Drain is his last name

And I know that's how they create the uproar you speak of buy damn

There's no way we'd be able to engineer your cells to all have a genome that might be expected if Tom Cruise was your father @Seatoast.

So in 2001 he went there to do a documentary, and ended up joining them?

The power of makeup

Well golly whiz there goes my plan

A gofundme will only work with absolute proof!

Nah look at that kid thay cried on Twitter and made 50k

PEOPLE JUST AREN'T THAT GULLIBLE!

Sarcasm.

Lol

Oh yes they are

You're very hard to read in my defense

The speculative be is it isn't a stretch to imagine he Did research, went there, figured out what was going on, then instead of exposing that (likely realizing his little indie fillm ass would get gangbanged by at least five lawyers if he tried to reveal the truth) instead offered to join them. When he figured would be much more lucrative.