Did you all hear that the police caught the Energizer bunny, they charged him with battery

wow

that was painful

no it was electrifying

And shocking

Sounds like current events to me

Oh gosh

This is pain

Lol

Can't help it if I'm wired for making puns.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk

what do you call a cow with no legs?

ground beef

Your mom

Booo

Coke sniffer

How dare you!

. What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader

What do you call birds who all stick together? Vel-crows.

What do you get when you mix an elephant and rhino?
|| Eleph-i-no ||

Dad always used to say: ‘the best bit about the fight was the make-up sex.

Great dad, terrible boxer

Turkey continues search for survivors after earthquake.

I thought they used dogs

They say chameleon’s blend in well, but this smoothie tastes terrible

how are politics like puzzle games?

they both start cheating when you're winning

Knock knock

"who's there? “

“dishes"

"dishes who? “

“dishes the ghost of Sean connery"

You murder one pizza delivery man, then you have to murder another pizza delivery man - that's the domino effect

Do people laugh loudly In Hawaii? Or do they give a-lo-ha

Did you know that you can hear your blood move through your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.

I remember my first tour of Afghanistan... Every day the enemy would fire gallons of mayonnaise at us.

Yup, life was tough in the hellmans provence.

Daniel Radcliffe has joined the criticism of J K Rowling over her remarks about transgender issues.

I'd call it a witch hunt, but he identifies as a wizard

As a newly qualified vet, I’m now permitted to treat animals.

Tonight, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.

A bit forced ^ lol

Ive never seen a truer statement

Do people even crop images anymore? Lol

Why don't crabs give to charity? ||Because they're shellfish.||