I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

cant relate

I can’t read kanji

it's mandarin

it says xi jin ping

Idk what that says

Omg

GG @acursednat, you just advanced to level 3!

EW

What is a black person
So I was just surfing the web looking for gay midget porn, when I came across this thing called “black people”. Apparently they have dark skin and love chicken. I am mortified. I will not accept anyone who is not a white person. Who made these black people? Who can I contact them and get them to stop? Are they considered people? We can’t stand for this anymore! The blacks have taken to much of out our economy! They took our jobs, our lifestyles, even our wives! I only have 3 wives left! And I don’t even fuck the other 2! Their just for cleaning and cooking! God I fucking hate America.

Edit: Guys holy shit stop downvoting me it’s just my opinion

Edit: Guys did you even read it? Stop telling me I’m racist when you clearly haven’t read the whole thing!

Edit: Jesus fucking Christ you guys are retarded. How delusional are you people???

Edit: Okay you people are fucking going to far. I’m NOT racist. I litteraly didn’t even say the n word once.

what the heck

RACIEST!!

we pull up

babyface after getting blacked, circa 2019, colorized

...

EW

BLECKRD

EWWW

GG @A Loaf of Bread, you just advanced to level 2!

and we shit on niggas

BLECKED

i join vc

what's getting blacked?

NOBODY ELSE BUT U

OMG THAT SONG

-df blacked

oh right. bot shat itself

👌

^

Blacked

OMG ONE PUNCH

ONE PUNCH is the best anime

weeb

So my cat, Franki, recently came down with a pretty severe stomach virus. The vet gave me some anti biotic drops to put in his food but when I’d do that Franki wouldn’t touch it. So, the vet suggested using a small dropper tube to insert the medicine directly into his anus. The first time was absolute hell, my cat fought me the whole time but once the tube was in and the medicine pushed out he seemed to calm quite a bit. Well the next day he was acting strange, he has always been an independent cat, rarely coming around, never wanting to be held, but as I sat on the couch he started walking back and forth meowing and rubbing my leg. He then went and jumped up on the table where we’d done the application the night before and meowed louder and louder until I decided I guess we will go ahead and do the medicine treatment. This time he didn’t fight me though, and when I inserted the tube he closed his eyes, stretched his neck, and let out a noise that can only be described as a moan of pure ecstasy. Maybe the medicine made him feel better, I supposed. That night he slept on my bed curled up right next to me, which he had never done before. For the next week he’d do the same thing every day, meow on the table until

he got his ‘fix’... But then the medicine ran out. Even though I had no medicine he’d still cry and beg for it, I thought maybe if I insert it without medicine he will realize it doesn’t make him feel better anymore and forget about it. Well that was 2 weeks ago and he is only getting worse. He walks around me all day with his tail up presenting his rectum and trying to entice me. He is demanding insertions more and more often. Yesterday I caught him looking longingly at the turkey baster... When I sit he jumps in my lap purring and rubbing me affectionately. It was then in horror I realized my cat thinks I’m his gay lover, and that I’ve been sexually pleasing him for weeks now. Needless to say the sexual tension between us is palpable. How do I let my cat know that I’m not gay, but still like him as a friend?

season 3 please

lmfao

lol