Bush did it often

<:TheodoreRooseveltLaugh:585130800870195200>

Daddy trump invented covfefe I guess

If you want my covfefe then you will have to take it from my cold dead hands!!! 🇺🇸

https://www.doyoucovfefe.com

You Americans are your coffee

https://youtu.be/zbbZylzsCvI

DAMN IT

Anxiety

Thought my water main exploded

Peepee got small and I became nervous wreck

Now wife is asleep

😩

wtf

😩

Lost all water pressure in my pipes

Contacted city

codec is so bad in GET Live everyone sounds like they're underwater

There's a turkey on my roof please send for help

He won't let me leave

move to VC1

My wife asked why I'm still awake when I have to be up in 6 hours for work.

How do I explain that my internals are melting and I'm literally spewing lava out of my ass like a Venetian water fountain. Every time I close my eyes I swear I see the light at the end of the tunnel only for satan to fish hook my asshole and drag me to the depths of hell.

Not only the glowing plasma leaking out of my sphincter but the gas accompanied by it. Jesus christ my stomach swells up like a swim bladder and I leap towards to toilet barely to make it (talking mission impossible count down) only to have the most biblical bowel movement in recorded history. My rectum will be renamed Moses because I'm splitting the water in the bowel like the red sea.

I am a broken man, here I sit crying like my pet hamster died, sweating like I'm Epstein at a kindergarten. It's not even shit at this point, I'm rocketing out every sin I have ever committed. Its so primal only David Attenborough can narrate this with a straight face.

F

yeah I've had that

but I also had water pressure

at least you have what's in the tank

unless you need that for drinking water

@TheKekscernist we only have hot water tanks, the cold water comes right off the city by straight pipe

And I just used the hot water for a shower

tank on the loo

Oh

Used already

I gotta start pissing into the toilet tank

Only way

@RuthEilhart is it normal for turkeys to be on the roof?

Not often but happend occasionally

You're country is weird 😄

@RuthEilhart what kind of Aussie is afraid of a turkey?

You ride spiders for God’s sake <:TheodoreRooseveltLaugh:585130800870195200>

Fuck sanders

Mate spiders and snakes arent shit. But our birds are fucking devil personified with all the evils concomitant with the devil!