There's more to it than scale, but scale is a large part of it

thats fine, why are you not defining scale then. outside nebulous terms. just go "military is at least 100 people" or something like that.

"goverment needs at least 20 people"

Because it's not a flat number, it's a style of organization

A government isn't just 50 dads

so then a family unit could be a state, but is not always.

No, a family unit on its own could not be a state

A family unit could become head of a state

Could occupy the positions within a state

if i am on an island, with just me and my family, are they not the state?

they "own" the whole island

i was just born there

They only own it by virtue of you willingly following them. If you decided not to, you'd be fucked

i pointed the answer of this issue out earlier

If you decide tomorrow not to pay taxes you'll get fucked

Group of people is a family,
Group of families is a community,
Group of communities is a town,
Group of towns is a country,
A countries leaders is called a state?

is that not different that now?

so then they are the state if they are willing to use force. and the government can become not a state if they don't use force?

if i stop paying taxes, and "the state" goes "well fuck.... okay" and thats it. are they still "the state"

No, if a bully beats you up, he is not the state

if i tell my dad on this island "i'm not giving you half the food i personally picked today" and he beats me up. why is he not the state?

Because you are both ultimately sovereign. His ability to control you only extends so far as he can beat you and you don't cause him sufficient harm

is that not true of the state?

Because words have definitions and 'state' is not just 'person or people who tell me what to do'

You cannot sufficiently harm a state

why not?

You on your own with a big stick are not going to dismantle social organization

so then the state is at least 2 people.

or the state is just an entity too large for me to take on solo and win against?

or well, at least part of it

Both because it extends beyond "he beat me up" and because it moves well beyond the scale you can feasibly deal with

As the state has a monopoly on "legitimate" force

@Dr.Wol that like the cells , organs, body thinngy I learned in biology

so then, if my family is big enough on this island. like 10 people, and everyone follows the hierarchy, dad>mom> oldest to youngest, its possible they become the state to me.

pretty much contro

if i, personally, am not strong enough to take on say, my dad and two oldest brothers who are his "police"

No, they dont

They don't fill the total roles a state does, they cannot defend your island against an outside force and so are subject to the whims of that force

They cannot even defend against you alone if you decide to murder everyone in their sleep

who says they can't?

This is literally "communism is anyone sharing" all over again