Also gives the super OP action: 'Build wall'

My roommate is dating a feminist... I deliberately leave 'alt-right' literature around just to trigger her.

Apparently he didn't get laid one night because they had an argument about me leaving my copy of Dangerous in the living room.

Fucking. Kek.

1, 2, 3, 4, I LOVE THE MARINE CORPS!

I really saw myself as more of a Joker or Cowboy though.

Not when they're Milo apparently.

I also left a copy of 12 Rules for Life on his bedside table.

When accosted for it the following day, I told him he should clean his room and then he wouldn't have these issues

I just like triggering his gf. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I see her face switch to morally outraged mode.

It's like having all the fun of being a dick to a feminist without any of the Fallout afterwards because it's all directed at him instead

Oh wow, sounds like my roommate hah

The guy who will NEVER take a side in any argument because it's easier to not rock the boat than have principles.

It kinda pisses me off tbh. I'd actually respect him more if was sided against me most of the time, but this sitting on the fence shit is just weak.

I act like myself. If a chick doesn't like that, then I'll find one who does. Simples.

Life is too short to pretend to be something you're not as far as I'm concerned.

The most changing I will do is emptying the ashtray before company arrives.

That sounds properly proportional. Well done HuffPost, way to meet that diversity quota

Also... How is it not racist to say people of colour these days? Didn't we used to call them coloureds in the 50s and 60s and then that was deemed politically incorrect?

How has it come full circle?

El blacko?

Wrong type of Latin....

Just as I was getting used to 'blacks' as the proper term.

Of course, I will never call them niggers. That's a hate crime, and crime is committed by blacks.

African American is non-inclusive to all the non African niggers though.

Like Jamicaniggers.

No wage gap if everyone can see what everyone else makes ;)

This is my rifle, this is my gun!

This is for fighting, this is for fun!

Tits, teeth and tips.

Also mental health nursing.

Women are KILLING men in that field and making some serious bank.

You can get like £12 an hour for an entry level care position where I live.

VS the £10 an hour I make from managing a retail store. Yeah, that's fair!

Yup, I've been there. Owner taking tips for themselves because they 'already pay you a wage'

I dunno... A union I was with managed to change my case from being fired to being given 2 months wages and a good reference.

My firing was basically down to the manager not liking me. She blocked my promotion 3 times even though I was formally training for it. I proved her bias against me and ended up walking away with a few grand

Hey, I never said the union was good. Only that they helped me out of a shitty situation.

You take the good, you take the bad and you get the facts of life.

Also how I fucked up my shoulder. Lazy fucks not doing their job.

Was taking in a delivery for the store on my own because the woman who was supposed to be helping went AWOL. Cage fell off the truck as I was holding it and dislocated my shoulder.

Gotta go with Mary-Jane Rotten Crotch

Even the French hate the French.

Hence the invention of the guillotine

I'd love to, but I live in the Socialist Monarchy of Great Britain and the United Cuckdom of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland

Tell him to clean his room and get his life in order.

That'll fix everything.

30 is old as fuck?

Well, shit.

Get off my lawn, damn kids!

Goddamn. This nigga 15

Now I feel old.

Good lord. 16... I barely remember being 16.

I spent most of it learning the wonders of sex.

Faggot, that's all I do these days.

@Deleted User Me too. I hate being associated with these cry baby fucks by virtue of being a similar age.

Islam > All you Kaffir fucks.

Behead the infidels!

*truck of peace intensfies*

Peaceful decapitation with machetes of love and understanding

*desire to allahu akbar*

Doesn't Jihad mean holy war though?

@MountainMan They should change that then. Wars aren't fought and won in a day.

If Rome couldn't be built in a day, neither can their caliphate.

Praise Jupiter!

Jihad me, daddy!

How about sandnigger?

Or shitskins?

Oh, I know. But I'd need a 'loisence!' and a reasonably excuse to use the damn thing. And a gun safe

Way too much hassle for a city dweller.

And I doubt 'hunting commies' is a reasonable excuse to have a rifle.

Are you a volcel then.

*?

Or just a Virgin?

Ah, see there's the rub. I think if I lived in a rural area, there'd be good cause to have one, but I live in a city center.

Plus there is no way I should be trusted with firearms.

I'm also quite sane, I'm just prone to doing stupid shit.

I got a marksmanship trophy when I was in cadets as a teenager. But I'm also the kind of guy who would shoot his friend in the foot for the lulz.

You rikey?

You raff, you ruse

*it's an old meme, sir.. But it checks out*

Nice one haha

Riceniggers.

Nah, they just act as an elite machete wielding special force for the Queen.

Rule Brittania!

Gurkhas were some serious badass dude.

Like... Seriously badass

They're like a rattlesnake mixed with a Navy SEAL

They're actually powered by internal V8 engines.

They bleed whiskey and piss plutonium

I wouldn't even know where to find a range. But I wanna fire two pistols at the same time, and that's just not cricket because people don't understand not to shoot up schools.

A Gurkha wouldn't need to ask for a threesome.

They just get offered them.

Because they're so fucking hard

Danish? You mean Southern Sweden?

Yay! I'm fitting in!

Right. It's been real y'all but I'm out. Nice meeting you all, I'm sure I'll be around. This place is kinda awesome.

Well what you do is slap them and it usually solves the problem.

Be the dom.

Nah, it's bratty.