@Ottobon I have no idea what my childhood consisted of.

no you aint... y'all stronger now

I have like... five memories.

eh, if people don't joke about their trauma, I tend not to think it was that traumatic to them

^

Yeah, the jokes are healthy.

Well, sorta.

It's complicated.

i dont feel fucked, it was a bad experience i wouldn't wish on anybody but it gave perspective on a lot of shit...that said i've become way less depressed in recent years due to better socializing, and at the time i was depressed completely blocked out the fact it happened even though it was like 6 incidents

we're all to blame, bear your cross, lift yourself, and help others if possible.

Yeah, I mean, I have overcome the depression, but I fear that the broken bits in me may some day be a liability.

*some* jokes are healthy

and then some are painful but then so long as you don't get stuck in a pit of dispair, eventually are healthy

Maybe the next Democratic president (if there ever is one again) will make it illegal for me to have a gun if I've told anyone about it.

yo, you are cut from the cloth of apex predators who literally fought their way out of the food chain... take your sadness and spin it... life is balance, for all unbearable things that have occurred to you create goodness for others so they don't have to suffer your pain too.

That is certainly my attitude.

good one to have

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But you know, I remain concerned. I don't really know for certain what is inside me.

It is hard to examine, even with professional help.

Hard to tell if I'm just being hypnotized into some cult of self pity, or working things out.

noone does. where do you begin and i end? same for anyone

My biggest issue with metoo: it's asking people to hold onto trauma in the most self-destructive way, hurting their ability to heal

No kidding.

@Nine thats a really good point

I mean, I've been sexually harassed in all sorts of situations _since_ then as well.

and I think I've dealt with it well enough, but it makes me wonder.

@Nine That's the whole victimhood culture in my opinion. It disempowers the people it claims to stregthen

if you think you're a victim, then you will always be one.... ugh absolutisms....

And, not to get on too much of a pity train here, but it doesn't help that I have to actively work to avoid being accused of being an abuser.

I have had near misses with malicious false accusers, saved by my own records before anything got out of hand.

nani nani

Look, we can't all be Emmitt Till, but damn can we conveniently forget what mob opinion did to him.

Makes it tough to trust new companies when looking for work, NFI who is looking to snipe people like me because they think there should be fewer "huwite bois" in tech.

I have to be especially suspicious of female colleagues, which fucking sucks.

minimally engage... or move to a single party consent state and 24/7 gopro your life.... become an IRL streamer

But yeah, generally I get up in the morning and feel pretty great.

and yeah, I record _everything_.

That is how I got away.