in these dire times, needs must

get a corona boner and you have to infect everyone

that sounds like a meeting of two or more

threesomes are out

ive had to wind the plumbing jobbing down, so i just charged people an extra £20 per job or threatend to lick door handles in the house

and twosomes

oh yeah lmao

this is gonna be the week my boiler finally dies

i'll give you a quote pal, just vacate the property before i come up, nothing to do with corona, its just so i can rummage around in your undies

imma pass

Do that and I'll just rig my boiler to explode

tbh tho, the weather is a fair bit milder atm, not so at risk of freezing to death

yeah but I like at least warm showers

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/foreign-secretary-advises-all-british-travellers-to-return-to-the-uk-now

seems like a terrible idea with us being on the strong upswing

stay the fuck in china

Oh boy, this is epic... When a useful idiot discovers that he's a useful idiot...
https://twitter.com/Femi_Sorry/status/1242328289462628352?s=20

Kek.

heating had to be turned off this morning

this went south quick 🙂

Our work are actually retarded

They have people doing the same role in other part of the UK allowed to work from home. Yet they are making our office go to work. Is obviously not 'essential' that we go into work if it's possible to work from home.

They're breaking the law, then

Technically

The worst part about this lockdown is that my date was cancelled

Best part is that I no longer have to do a 5-230 on Friday

All and all, it's a net neutral rn

Luckily I'm getting a Job in food production which is seen as essential

I ain't working

I'm going back to my neet life

my builder showed up for work this am - he's going to work until he's out of supplies, then hibertnate

sadly, i'm working from home

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1242371189055635461

London is fuuuuuuucked

London's become a third world colony, are you surprised?

well, that and high class twats who don't think rules apply to them

Don’t worry, there is no risk of catching Coronavirus on the tube
Khan said so

So it must be true

I work at a private club and we've had a few people trying to get in, despite the club being shut down.

It's surprising to see how much they think they are just above it

I imagine London's no different