Yo what the fuck

@Bodark Actual usually happens that way, but they can be smart lol

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio uhhhhh

The Fuck

Why the hell did you stay with that hoe

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio

I didnt after that baby doll thing

that was fucking WACK

That's pretty fucking crazy

Oh I have more stories of crazy lmao

Lemme wrap up these notes for ya guys

I'll let you pick while I work

You get

A)Gas Station Jennifer Tilly
B) Overweight Vegan Vampire

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio the choice is obvious

I mean, is there really another choice

Vampires only

Both are crazy-cooch but in different ways

Aell obviously send both but the vampire one 1st

Okay so. I ended up hooking up with his lady who was a few years old than me. She was kinda thicc but she was also a anime-recluse year...2007. So this is before that shit was kinda okay-neato this was,foot path through a knee deep clothes in the hallway kinda bonkers

I was like 19,she was 24

anyways

she was fucking highly possessive and would blow my shit up 24/7

3am shes calling my god damn land line,ringing my fucking grandma awake because i havent been online and im just sleeping off my buzz on the warm trampoline from the summer day

So one day

I get into a car accident,t-boned hardcore. It raked the entire length of the car,pretty much hammered the doors shut

and after im safe n home n shit

I post a picture being sarcastic "Car crashes r fun ;D lololo"

and she goes "Maybe it WAS you !"

and I'm like "Bitch wtf,why would I even post a picture of a wrecked car and just mock that ?" thats just dumb and gross people brain

so we get to arguing and I said fuck it,leave me the fuck alone

and shes trying to play around and just p.much doesnt wanna be alone and keeps messaging me

idk why I ever asked,but I remember she told me she was a vampire

so

after we broke up. I got "What the fuck was that vampire shit about anyways ?"

whooo

She goes" I am vampire from the 1257 and I've been around since before the plague. I've seen lovers come and go and if you arent nice to me anymore I'll take your life through your neck!." I lol'

Tells me more shit about losing a husband in the civil war and that when he was shot and the war was over that one of his war buddies brought back a picture of him

and lmao I ask her "Let me see it then" and she tried to smack me in the face and I just bolted home

tldr. dont date landwhale anime girls