Damn... that fat is deadly.

I was trying to ride my motorcycle for the first time

https://www.foxnews.com/us/suspect-in-fatal-california-cop-shooting-is-in-us-illegally-authorities-say

AFter i had it started, i tried to push it out of my parking space

Illegal aliens commit illegal acts. More shocking news at 11.

everytime i tried to push it, i kept hitting the throttle

:\

I can't gain fat.

I have fast motabolism.

the US needs an anti-immigrant keyser söze

so basically, i was sitting in my parking spot, revving my motorcycle's engine

like fag

I hate it.... when I get sick, it hits me 10x times harder.

but on accident

fast motabolism?

sit on your ass and eat KFC all day

your body will not keep up

Yeah I can do that... but my body does keep up with it.

All day I munch to keep energy.

You can gain fat, you just have to try harder

trust me, anyone can gain weight

drink lard

By choking on food?

yes

I haven't gained any weight since I was 19 years old.

I am 34.

then you aren't trying hard enough

speaking as someone with a normal metabolism,

its very easy to gain weight if you just work at it

34 years of being the same size and weight I was when I was 19.

Get a desk job, eat 5 sandwiches a day

and a hearty helping of fries and cheese for lunch

I constantly get ID'ed at bars.

They call me baby face, baby cake.

-_-

😄

The female bartenders.

ouch

that does hurt

Theres no fucking sandwich emoji!!!!

lol

Basically I don't look like a middle aged man.

What's this world coming to