Hello all, going thru ugly divorce here. Really could use any advice. Just found the subreddit and now this discord.

That really sucks :< sorry to hear that

Which things in particular do you want advice about? Obviously we are no substitute for a legal professional, but we'll try our best

What country, and what has already transpired in the divorce process? Once you're actually going through an ugly divorce your ability to mitigate what is happening is pretty limited though.

Without some of that information the only thing we can really say is: make sure you always have witnesses (or if not, then a recording) of anything that goes on between yourself and interested people (such as your spouse) once the divorce gets ugly. Also, buckle up 'cause your in for a ride, but keep calm and listen to a lawyer.

No country honestly.

No County has a reasonable divorce process.

Maybe not, but what country matters so that you are aware of the specific process and do all you can do to make things more equitable

Yep, agreed. More men should do the research and be aware of such processes to minimize the harm.

People should take permanent legal decisions more seriously!

We are in the states and I am currently unemployed so my funds are limited. I mainly need to figure out which divorce attorney to go with.

Also, does anyone have any idea , in order to keep attorney costs down. If i can try and negotiate their fees?

I know this sounds a bit out there, but I have some professional expertise which one of the attorney's looks like he could really use. I'm wondering if there's any chance or if it's even allowed to exchange my professional work in exchange for his somehow - prob on separate contracts.

It couldn’t hurt to ask, if they think it’s the only way they’ll get you to use them

But I can’t really say for sure

I have no experience with this

For some, that’s possible.

Ok, thanks for you input. Couldn't find anything online.

I believe DDJ worked as a paralegal to pay off some of his legal fees.

But again, you have to find a lawyer who is willing to establish and abide by such an agreement.

@ChitwnRogue the online book in <#523457566307516446> is a great general guide. Learn what you can and cannot record. In GA for example, it's a one party state, so if I am involved in the conversation, it can be recorded and admissable as evidence. Listening or recording another's conversation without consent/approval can be treated as a felony. Thin line, drastic difference. <Speaking from experience

Alright, so through the man-down documentary I found a Toronto source that said "Any lawyer can give legal advice. HOWEVER... All of our lawyers have a proven track record of success with Court orders that verify you are getting qualified legal advice as opposed to unqualified legal advice from a lawyer who does not have court orders to back up their claimed track record. Always ask for Court Orders from your lawyer as proof they have had success helping a man / father acheive the goals you've set out for yourself. Court Orders are Public Documents unless they have been sealed by the Court – so there are no privacy issues."

http://www.fathers-resources.com/

Maybe that was written as an advertisement for a law firm, but that sounds reasonable

It does sound reasonable, it's good to check up on your lawyer/firm to make sure they know what they are doing. Even if it is an advertisement, presumably it's from a lawyer/firm that *can* prove they have a good track record

^

About to consult with yet another attorney on the phone, getting pretty tired of talking to lawyers.

Still consider them to be buncha selfserving leeches that prey on the emotionally distraught

Some of them are sometimes, good luck finding one who really cares about your case mate

@ChitwnRogue Yep. If you're in Canada the fathers-resources folks from Toronto seem to be pretty good given their involvement in an in-progress documentary

But this discord specifically is still trying to gather resources to help people in that way.

@asparkofpyrokravte Absolutely. If possible, I'd like to have an actual volunteer legal team in here supporting people with their cases.

hey all, appreciate the help. i'm feeling overwhelmed. i've tried to read up and watch any videos regarding dissolution/divorce. i feel like i know a lot more than i initially did but still not sure what to do at this point.

Hey amn, I men's I've done nowt, I've just joined. But I feel so happy that these people have helped u through ur tough times. Stay strong

i've read as much as i could from the men's rights subreddit and mentioned to one established divorce attorney (38 yrs experience) how the family court is biased against men. he denies that is the case. is it not in any attorney's best interest to agree that the system is stacked vs men?

Exactly, to change the problem u have to notice it first

hey @IsmELlyOuJoHN , thanks, i just started educating myself and am new here too

Np man I've literally done nowt just admired how the movement has helped people so fad

i'm looking into the possiblility of free legal aid since i qualify as low income, anyone have success goiing this route? or is it very much you get what you pay for? i can't even afford these high retainer fees

i almost felt like giving up today b/c i saw my ex today and thought maybe we can talk this out without getting expensive lawyers involved, like work out dissolution or something

And how did it go