Hey thanks for all the great advice @Dan da Dad , i been pretty much doing this all on my own. I been researching non-stop, some of the info appears to contradict or confuse me, so ya i think i need to hire an attorney who knows the local intricacies of famiily law.

And also thank you mods for putting this place together and the sub if you did that as well. I felt totally isolated and lost and you know all the emotions that come with separating. So i really appreciate having a community like this.

It has already, as it is considered Domestic Violence, and forced me to stay away from the home and given her control of the contact I've had with my kids (none)

Also, by keeping me at length, she was able to steal money from me and I was nto allowed to retaliate

Damn man, I’m sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you, it must be terrible or seeing your kids

I’ll be sure to say a prayer for you

I was homeless for a month, my money stolen, and I haven't seen my kids since Xmas Eve, but I've been working every day towards a future with them, and gladly took the suffering because it meant a better situation than I could have hoped for

I went from nowhere and broke to a 3br house (renting) that didn't have a thing in it, not even a stove/fridge/curtains nada

To now a house with stove/fridge/dishes/furniture/dresser/mattress/food and more

I'm also getting a twin bed for each girl - and all the things I mentioned (minus the fridge) was donated/provided. I have heat thanks to the generosity of friends, family, church and strangers

I'm shocked how one day your spouse telling you she loves you blah blah blah and the next day they are you're worst enemy

Right. And SHE was the one who cheated

fuck, she'll get what she deserves in the end

That sounds awful man, I’m glad your fortune is turning around

It’s good to see that people are helping you to get where you need to be and be with your kids

yup mine cheated too, i been faithful 9 yrs

I could care less about her at this point. My aim and fight is for my children. I have been moved and protected by God's hand. If not for the exact timing of getting out of jail, my money stolen, twice, the first house I looked at and wanted getting scooped up the day I went to put the deposit, forcing me to apply with a second agency, finding the new house on the employee swap shop, the app getting processed that just happened to be the agency the employee was using...I got in before it even went on the market

you able to take care of yourself @Dan da Dad , get therapy if you can

I've been getting prayed on regularly, in counseling, loved on by people, and loving myself. I'm proud of the work I've done, which has kept my gaze on the horizon instead of down in the dumps.

was she abusive to you in any way?

ok man, sounds like you on your way to a better place

Before this? Manipulative, controlling, sure, but when that shit didn't work on me, it all started to turn. Took 7 years of fighting, but I wouldn't say abusive. Others may disagree.

Well it sounds like you’re better off without her honestly

i mean she could also have been emotionally, verbally abusive. mine, i'm starting to realize was very much narcissist

Are you trying to get physical custody of your kids?

Definitely better off now, but it's my kids I am concerned with. Not just the now. Money and things are fleeting. Her path is in hers to own, and God's hand.

I am going for custody, at least 50/50 - I will not deprive them of their mother, but I will not allow her to deprive them of me.

It's been difficult with limited financial resources and other goals that took precedent (washing the same week's worth of clothes, I've had for a month, for example, and heat in the dead of winter)

Lawyers around here are slow to advise without a retainer up front, but I don't have 3k lol

Especially when out of two paychecks totaling 2,100 in a month, 1,250 was stolen.

Yeah good lawyers are so damn pricey

What stage of the divorce proceedings are you in? Have you seen a judge yet?

Any, really. I've been trying to see if I qualify for low cost or pro bono attornies, but before anyone will touch my divorce, the criminal thing needs to be taken care of - totally separate lawyer

Do you think you have a chance of getting that 50/50 custody you’re looking for?

Regardless of having a lawyer, you mentioned she cheated on you? Do you have proof you can use against her?

Also sorry, I don’t mean to interrogate or bombard you with questions, if something is too personal I get it, I just feel for you brother, it feels like everything is stacked against you from the get go

Yes, yes, and I'm fine with questions. I want my experience to enrich and benefit people.

It is, but I have good and God on my side. I will go as far as that takes me, and not give energy to the outside stresses of my path

The reason I was able to go from a dark place to where I am now is because I was taken from a toxic environment (was I a good man? a good father? was it worth it? should I change?) into one of support. Numerous people from work, church, and other areas of my life all rallied behind me. All they know of me for sure is that I am 100% devoted to my kids, have always been a kind and caring man, and because of that, they were willing to pull me through

I went from homeless to a barren house. From nothing to a bed, to a dresser, to all of a sudden a home with heat and food.

That would not have happened if not for God, and for what I have shown people of who I am. I choose to remain humble and purposeful. Eyes on the prize.